


Genuine Link

by Ameera



Series: Julian Bashir: Observations [3]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Claustrophobia, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Blood, Secrets, Trauma, Trust Issues, blood screenings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-12-21 14:33:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 23,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11946279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ameera/pseuds/Ameera
Summary: After the events with the Changeling, Garak and Julian have to deal with the aftermath and their own feelings for one another. Not to mention a Dominion prison camp, claustrophobia, and secret genetic modification.





	1. A Friend

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be completely honest, I don't really know where this is going to go exactly? Like, I plan on it ending happy? Hopefully? But again, I really don't know. I'm going to try and go back to posting daily but I am starting up the semester so I don't want to make any promises. I may try and just post SOMETHING each day, not necessarily a continuation of an ongoing series, just so that way I keep the pace. But, as always, have no fear, I have no intention of letting this go unfinished!

General Martok had announced the return of Dr. Bashir as the return of “a friend.” If only he knew how much pain Garak now felt as he looked at his friend. He was happy to see him alive, for the man _was_ his friend, but only a friend. Garak cursed himself for letting himself be happy, for _believing_ in that happiness he’d experienced. He didn’t need to be told when Bashir had been replaced by the Changeling, he already knew. He didn’t need to see him bleed to know he wasn’t a Changeling, it was the only explanation that could make sense. If there were two Bashirs and one had told Garak he loved him, Garak knew that that one was the fake.

 

                It was one thing to know that his affections for the young doctor were still hopeless, after having just believed it were possible, however, that was not the worst thing to Garak. He’d told the Changeling he loved him, laid with him in the most intimate sense, and he’d done it all while the villain wore Julian Bashir’s face. Julian would find out, Garak didn’t doubt that. Once the doctor knew how Garak felt, once he knew what he’d done to a copy of his body, he wouldn’t even want to look at Garak.

 

                That’s why Garak lied to Tain and said they were alone when Julian was still in the room. That’s why he insisted on having the dying man admit to being his father. He needed to find some way to apologize to the young man. The doctor would feel horribly violated, knowing that Garak had taken something he’d always wanted from him, so the best apology Garak could think of would be to willingly give something back that Julian had always desired. Answers.

 

                Julian insisted Garak go for a walk with him outside the cell while the Jem’Hadar searched Tain’s body and dragged him away. The silence between them was so heavy and tense, Garak could taste it. They’d turned a corner, to a somewhat secluded area and suddenly Julian stepped in front of him and put his hand on Garak’s arm.

 

“Garak, I love you.” He gave such a small, hopeful smile. “If you don’t feel the same way, I understand.” He inhaled deeply, visibly preparing himself for the proverbial sky to come crashing down on his head. “I just want you to know now, without knowing your answer, that your secrets are safe with me.” He gave another, warmer smile. “Thank you for trusting me.”

 

“No…” Garak breathed in horror. Julian’s heart almost visibly broke in his eyes as he pulled away his hand.

 

“I understand.” He gave a larger smile now, to mask his pain. “Really, I do.”

 

“No, Julian, you _shouldn’t_ trust me.” Garak shook his head, trying to figure out how to explain everything that had happened.

 

“Garak, is this honestly going to be about you being a spy?” He crossed his arms and sighed. “Would you rather I cower in fear from the big bad Cardassian? Is that so necessary to your pride?”

 

“No, my dear, please.” Garak put his hand on his head and closed his eyes. “The Changeling told me the same thing.” When he dropped his hand and looked again at Julian’s face, the young man’s eyes were wide.

 

“What are you saying?”

 

“Doctor, I’m so sorry.” Garak gulped. “I thought he was you.”

 

“Garak…” Julian was desperately trying to read his face. “What happened?”

 

“Doctor, please…” Garak couldn’t articulate what had happened. He couldn’t find the words.

 

“The Changeling…” Julian moistened his lips nervously. “He told you he loved you?” Garak nodded. “Pretending to be me?” Another nod.

 

“I’m sorry.” Was all Garak could say again. Julian let out the smallest audible gasp.

 

“You slept together.” It wasn’t a question, he’d connected the dots. Garak looked away, he couldn’t stare at those innocent brown eyes he had just hurt so deeply. “Oh, Garak…” Julian took a step back and inhaled deeply. “If you need me to stay away from you, I will do the best I can. I…” He paused. “I shouldn’t have said anything before, I’m sorry.” Garak looked up in shock.

 

“ _You’re_ sorry?” Garak shook his head. “Doctor, you haven’t done anything wrong.”

 

“I thought that maybe…” Julian shrugged uncomfortably. “Maybe you wouldn’t want to see my face? Since he did that to you wearing it… I figured you’d want me gone.”

 

“My dear, I want nothing more than to be close to you.” Garak insisted. He almost reached out to take Julian’s hand, but he stopped himself. “But what I’ve done… you can’t tell me that you’re okay with it.”

 

“Of course I’m not!” Julian took Garak’s hand angrily now. “But I’m hardly upset with _you_!” He put his other hand around Garak’s hand now so he was clutching it firmly in both. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You’ve done nothing to me. The last conversation the two of us have had was before I left the station.” He gave a sheepish smile. “I even bought you Meezan chocolates, though I don’t know what happened to them now.”

 

“I got them.” Garak breathed. Julian put a hand on Garak’s cheek with his eyes wide in horror again.

 

“Oh, Garak, I’m so sorry.” He exhaled and shook his head. “What I’m saying is, I have no reason to be mad at you. But...” Julian swallowed. “If this is too strange for you…” He didn’t finish his sentence, Garak didn’t let him. He silenced him with a strong kiss.

 

                This kiss was nothing like the ones Garak had had with the Changeling. This was warmer and slow. Julian seemed as if he was melting into Garak’s touch, following his lead with every movement. Julian let his hand fall from Garak’s cheek to his shoulder and gripped tightly, causing Garak to let out a soft hiss.

 

“I’m sorry!” Julian quickly moved his hand away and blushed. “I, uh, shouldn’t have done that.”

 

“I assure you, you caused me no harm.” Garak chuckled.

 

“No, no, I mean, I know about _those_.” Julian glanced awkwardly at Garak’s shoulder ridges. “But that was our first kiss and there’s a lot to deal with, and I don’t want to seem like—” Garak kissed the babbling man again. This blushing, awkward, brilliant, and rambling vision was definitely the real Julian Bashir.

 

“I love you too, doctor.” Garak smiled when the kiss broke. He felt so strange saying it out loud, he’d confessed his love numerous times to the Changeling, but somehow this was more intimidating than it had been the first few times. This was not an illusion, this was reality.

 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Julian’s brow was furrowed in concern and hurt.

 

“I don’t think you’re capable of doing so.” Garak smirked. “You’re not exactly the type to kill me in my sleep.”

 

“Garak, that’s not what I meant.” He pulled away, but put a hand on Garak’s cheek. “You’ve just lost Tain and, with everything that the Changeling did to you…” Julian shook his head. “It wasn’t fair of me to tell you my feelings. You’re hardly in need of more complications.”

 

“My dear, you will always be a complication for me.” Garak covered Julian’s hand with his own. “Your confession only makes it a more pleasant one.” He turned his face so he could kiss Julian’s palm.

 

“What I’m saying is,” Julian gave a small smile, “this isn’t exactly how I’d planned to seduce you.”

 

“Well, considering you seduced me long before this, I wouldn’t worry.” Garak looked into Julian’s eyes and noticed something else. These eyes were ever so slightly more alive and vibrant than the Changeling’s ever had been.

 

“Now I’m curious to know when I _was_ successful in my pursuit.” Julian bit his lip with a large grin and stepped closer ever so slightly.

 

“I’m not blind, my dear.” Garak rolled his eyes. “I found you to be absolutely breathtaking when I first saw you.” Julian simply blushed and darted his gaze away. “And then, of course, you tried to get me ‘somewhere quiet’ when you found me at Quark’s.”

 

“Oh lord.” Julian slapped his free hand over his face. “I didn’t even know what I was doing back then. I mean, I knew I was flirting, and believe me, it wasn’t all an act!” He quickly gave Garak a reassuring look. “But, well, Quark had put this idea in my head and then I started thinking about it and…” He shook his head and laughed at himself. “I’m not really sure what my plan was.”

 

“You were planning to save my life.” Garak reminded. “And I certainly was fond of your strategy to get me to go with you.” He removed Julian’s hand from his face and pressed their hands palm to palm.

 

“So that’s when I seduced you?” Julian grinned. “When I was bumbling through my attempts to treat you?”

 

“You’re very charming when you bumble.” Garak added. “But it’s honestly hard to say when the exact moment happened, that attraction turned to love.” Julian’s face suddenly lit up.

 

“You _were_ jealous over Leeta!” Julian acted like he’d just made some great discovery. “Why did you suggest I start seeing her in the first place then?”

 

“Making you unavailable would have helped me to be more realistic.” Garak shook his head. “But then you were hardly forthcoming on what your relationship with her actually _was_ and then when you finally told me, you essentially suggested that you were the most wanton creature I’ve ever met.”

 

“Well, you’ll have to find out if that suggestion was accurate or not.” Julian licked his lips before a flash of fear crossed his face. “But honestly, I know you always lie but…” Julian let his eyes glance up in despair, “Please promise to tell me if this is all too much?”

 

“I promise.” Garak lied.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my favorite little moments in Bryan Fuller's Pushing Daisies (the whole series is perfection tbh) is when Ned's father drops him off at school and the scene goes like this:  
> Father: "I'll be back."  
> Narrator: "He lied." 
> 
> So... yeah, I always kind of picture Jim Dale narrating everything Garak says with "he lied." 
> 
> ....that was pretty rambling... uh... HOPE YOU ENJOYED, FRIENDOS!


	2. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak's claustrophobia has been revealed and Julian has something to tell him.

 

“Where are the others?” Garak was panting, though he was trying to cover how heavily he was breathing, Julian could see it plainly. He just came out for his first of the new mandated frequent and longer breaks that were necessary once his claustrophobia had been revealed, and he was darting his eyes around in search for the other faces that were usually in the cell.

 

“Making arrangements.” Julian said as he immediately took Garak’s pulse. “Which gives us a chance to talk.” He brushed his hand through Garak’s hair, hoping that he was coming across as soothing. “May I kiss you?” He asked seriously, not wanting to upset Garak any more in his condition.

 

“I thought you wanted to talk?” Garak said, letting out an uneasy chuckle as he leaned in closer to Julian. The kiss wasn’t particularly long are strong, just a sweet, romantic and short gesture between the two of them.

 

“I do.” Julian said with a small smile. “You’re very brave to do this, but don’t think for one second that you have to. Your claustrophobia is a real condition and we can figure out another plan.” He’d taken Garak’s hand now and was sitting next to him on the cot, searching the cold face with sympathetic eyes.

 

“My dear, you know that’s highly unrealistic.” Garak shook his head with an inhale.

 

“I don’t care, Garak!” Julian snapped before massaging the bridge of his nose. “I wish you’d told me about this sooner.”

 

“What purpose would that serve?” Garak scoffed.

 

“I’m your _doctor_ , Garak.” He said, squeezing Garak’s hand lightly. “I need to know if you’re at risk so that way if something like this happens, I’m not caught off guard.”

 

“And if you had been prepared, what possible difference would that have made?” Garak gave Julian a patronizing glance. “No, doctor, I believe our situation would have changed very little.”

 

“Maybe not…” Julian leaned his head against the wall and looked up. “But I’m the one who suggested you go in there, hoping you had some clue as to what you were doing.”

 

“And you were right.” Garak pointed out.

 

“But even if you _are_ the only one who can get us out, it doesn’t mean you couldn’t tell me!” Julian turned so he was looking directly at Garak. “I’m not asking you to give up your lying, but I am asking you to trust me. I thought you did.”

 

“My dear, I _love_ you.”

 

“That’s not the same thing.” Julian sighed. “I think you want to trust me and you’ve never had love with trust before so you don’t see why it’s important.”

 

“I had you listen to Tain’s dying words, hear the secret of my parentage, and you really believe I don’t trust you?” Garak crossed his arms. “Really, doctor, I believe you’re being a tad dramatic.” He wanted Julian to stop digging, to stop trying to get something from him that he felt he could never give.

 

“Learning your secrets is something I’ve always wanted, yes.” Julian breathed. “But you won’t feel safe in letting me know your vulnerabilities. You’re afraid of what someone could do with the knowledge of your claustrophobia, you’re even convinced that I could potentially hurt you with it.” Julian frowned and looked pained.

 

“I will admit that I find it unlikely.” Garak added lightly. “But you can’t deny that it puts me at risk.”

 

“Garak, you’ve told me you love me…” Julian ran a hand through his hair with agitation. “Just, no more games, was that the truth?”

 

“Now you don’t trust _me_ on that?” Garak smirked. Julian glared and Garak nodded. “Yes, my dear, I love you.”

 

“Do you believe me when I say that I love you?” Julian looked deeply in Garak’s eyes, his brow raised in concern. “Because I _do_ love you.”

 

“As odd as it is…” Garak looked back at Julian, admittedly checking to see if there were any hints of a lie in the young man. “I truly believe you do.” Garak found his mouth stopped by another kiss from Julian, whose hands were now cupping his cheeks. When he pulled away, he let out a small anxious smile before swallowing with fear. “Julian?” Garak asked.

 

“I’ve lied to everyone I’ve ever known.” Julian’s heart was deafening in his own ears. “I’m not a normal human.”

 

“I don’t understand?” Garak was again scanning that face, trying to determine what this all meant.

 

“I’m genetically augmented.” Julian’s breathing suddenly became heavier, as if he couldn’t get past the shock himself of what he’d just said. “It’s illegal in the Federation.”

 

“You’re telling me that you’re enhanced in some way?”

 

“In most ways.” Julian sighed out an uncomfortable laugh. “Strength, speed, memory, hand-eye coordination, cognitive functions.” He looked down at the floor. “Essentially, I’m a freak.” Garak was silent and Julian kept his eyes lowered. “Those that are found to be illegally changed are forbidden from practicing medicine, and certainly kept out of Starfleet.”

 

“And yet you chose to become a Starfleet doctor.” Garak nodded. “You’ve risked everything to become Chief Medical Officer, you must want it more than anything.”

 

“I do.” Julian breathed as he looked back at Garak. “But now you know.” Julian smiled. “My fate is in your hands.”

 

“You don’t actually think I’m going to tell Starfleet any of this, do you?” Garak scoffed at the notion.

 

“I can’t know for certain.” Julian shrugged before taking Garak’s hand again with a serious smile. “But I trust you.” Garak’s eyes widened in understanding and he then nodded.

 

“So now you’re saying we’re even?” Garak turned his hand over so he was palm to palm with Julian. “That we both have a knife to each other’s throats so we have nothing to fear?”

 

“That’s _not_ what I’m saying, Garak.” Julian rolled his eyes with irritation. “Can you take a moment to actually think about what the consequences of our respective lies coming out would be?” Julian exhaled in frustration. “A _hypothetical_ enemy who _may or may not_ ever have _opportunity_ to approach you could _potentially_ abuse your claustrophobia.” Julian shook his head with a smirk. “And while I’m sure many people would be fascinated to hear that you’re Tain’s son, it’s not as if that can hurt Tain anymore, and who your father is really doesn’t change much about you.”

 

“Meanwhile you would lose your career and everything you’ve worked for, not to mention you would be sent to prison, yes?” Julian nodded. “So what you’re saying is, even with my greatest fear revealed and Tain’s most closely guarded secret, I’m still too closed off compared to you, is that it?”

 

“No, Garak!” Julian practically shouted. “This isn’t a competition or a threat! I don’t need you to tell me any dangerous secret, for all I know, you don’t have any more! I just need you to know that such a secret will be safe with me because I would never trust you with mine if you couldn’t trust yours with me.” He laced his fingers with Garak’s. “I love you. I trust you. I just want you to tell me if you’re hurt or in danger. I don’t want to ever find out by pulling you out of the wall again.” Julian placed his free hand back on Garak’s cheek. “My heart can’t take that.”

 

“It won’t ever have to.” Garak breathed. This time, he meant his words as he stole another tender kiss from the man he both loved and trusted completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone can keep a secret, it's Garak, right? 
> 
> Comments and kudos if you enjoy, loves!


	3. Survival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're on the runabout, but they're not home and safe yet.

Julian wasn’t even thinking when they were beamed onto the runabout and he saw Garak standing there. They were out of the camp. They were going home. The next thing he knew, he’d crushed his lips against Garak’s in front of everyone else on board. He hadn’t thought he would even see Garak again when he ended up in the camp, let alone be _with_ him romantically. It was an admittedly disgusting kiss, with their mixed sweat and grime, but it was forceful and strong.

 

“Doctor…” The Romulan woman interjected calmly. Julian pulled away with a guilty smile. “I believe Mr. Worf requires medical attention.”

 

“Right, yes, of course.” Julian turned to look at the badly beaten Worf who was being supported by a beaming Martok. “Let’s get you into the back where you can lie down.”

 

“I imagine you’ll be _lying down_ yourself later, doctor!” Martok boomed with laughter as he walked with Worf’s arm over his shoulder. Julian simply blushed. “Of course, you’ll be having a much more pleasant time of it.” He used his one eye to wink at Garak who simply averted his gaze as if he hadn’t seen the gesture.

 

“We need to send a transmission out to DS9.” Julian deflected before heading into the back. “Let them know it’s from me.” Garak nodded and went to the controls as Julian went to the bed that Worf was now laying in. “You’re in rough shape, but you’ll live.” Julian smiled. Worf simply made a grunting sound. “Once we get to the infirmary you’ll be good as new.” He pressed the hypospray in the medkit on the runabout against Worf’s neck, hopefully relieving some of the pain before bandaging up what he could. Worf still didn’t say anything in reply, though Julian could hardly blame him, still the tension was painful. As usual, Julian felt more talking was the best way to fix the atmosphere. “This can’t be any worse than the beatings Jadzia’s given you.” Worf simply glared at Julian and then rolled his eyes.

 

“Jadzia? Is that a sparring partner?” Martok asked, clearly intrigued.

 

“In a manner of speaking.” Julian said with a grin. “Though I believe it’s a tad more intimate than that.” This was probably not earning Julian any points with Worf, but he could either try and completely change himself or plow ahead like he did with Miles.

 

“The term is ‘par’mach kai’.” Worf stated. There may have been agitation in his voice, or it could have just been his usual growl, it was hard to tell.

 

“Aha!” Martok laughed. The man was so damned supportive of everyone’s lives, he was like the cheerleader of the camp. Julian had to suppress a laugh at the image of the general with pom poms and pigtails. “Well, your return to a warm bed will be an excellent ending for our song!”

 

“Dax will love having another song about her.” Julian chuckled. “I remember her playing _Nov GharwI' Dax_ for me three separate times. She has an excellent memory but sometimes I think she purposefully forgot she’d already forced me to hear it just because she wanted to brag again.”

 

“Dax?” Martok said, puzzled. “What does Curzon Dax have to do with our story?” Julian grinned. He loved having Jadzia as a friend, he basically got to brag about her accomplishments constantly and see looks of surprise on so many different faces.

 

“Dax is a Trill symbiont.” He explained. “When Curzon died, the symbiont was moved to Jadzia.”

 

“That may be a bit complicated to explain in a folk song.” Martok nodded with grave seriousness. “Though it would make for an exciting twist in an opera!” Julian chuckled and then turned his attention back to Worf.

 

“I’ve done all I can for now, I think it best I leave you to rest.” Worf let out a sigh of relief as both Julian and Martok went to the front of the runabout. “How far are we from the wormhole?”

 

“Further than I’d like.” Garak said without moving his gaze from the controls. “But, thankfully, I believe our message got through.”

 

“Are we being pursued?” Martok asked.

 

“Do you really want to know the answer to that?” Garak said as the runabout was shaken by them being fired at. “Well, you’ve got one now.”

 

“I’ll take the helm.” Martok commanded and Garak seemed content to step aside. “They will not spill Klingon blood today!”

 

“How fortunate for the Klingons.” Garak whispered to Julian as he stepped next to him. Julian smirked and then steadied Garak as more fire impacted their vessel. “What do you think our chances of survival are?”

 

“Splendid.” Julian grinned. “In fact, we may as well be skipping through a field of daisies, it’s so peaceful and simple.” Again, the runabout was thrown and Garak practically fell into Julian this time.

 

“Do Earth daisies happen to explode?” Garak straightened himself up and had a hand to his temple.

 

“You’ll have to ask Keiko when we get back.” Julian said with a chuckle. “Because we _are_ getting back, no matter how damned negative you intend to be.”

 

“Oh joy.” Garak shook his head. “At last, I’ll return to my freezing exile while my homeland is commanded by Gul Dukat.” Julian sighed.

 

“Right, I forgot that we must only focus on the bad things in life while we attempt to survive.” Julian shot Garak a disapproving look. “I’ll try to keep my excitement muted when we get to DS9.”

 

“I doubt you’ll be able to.” Garak smirked. “You’ll practically be weeping over its rings and quoting your dreadful Shakespeare about how glorious of a sight it is.”

 

“Don’t count on it.” Julian scoffed. “I plan to cry over the pylons, not the rings.” Julian gave Garak a sideways glance and then grinned.

 

“Of course you would.” Garak rolled his eyes. “You even fail to properly appreciate Cardassian architecture.” Again, the runabout was rocked, though the wormhole had opened in front of them. Julian took Garak’s hand with a smile.

 

“We’ll continue this argument later.”


	4. Privacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian deals with how the station has changed in his absence and learns another thing that Garak has been hiding.

Julian tried to tell himself he was fine. He smiled and laughed at Miles’ little “joke” about the Changeling being easier to get along with and then bid his friend goodbye. He’d gone through the medical logs of what had happened while he was gone. His commanding officer had had brain surgery and his best friend had had his child. Kira had been targeted by a madman and Eddington had been arrested. Kassidy Yates had returned to the station and was resuming her relationship with the Captain. It felt like a whirlwind had passed through and yet Julian was the only one whose things had been swept away.

 

                He had to leave the infirmary, it felt like the very center of his world had been tainted. Julian knew going to his quarters would be difficult, but there was really no way to avoid it so he decided he may as well start there. He’d hoped to maybe see the reassuring sight of Kukalaka, but once he entered he remembered how Leeta had taken him. He could ask for his bear back, but that would only make him feel more vulnerable. Besides, a missing teddy bear was hardly his biggest problem.

 

                Julian thought finding scales in his bed would be the most painful thing to see, but somehow it wasn’t. There weren’t any scales in the bed at all, in fact, instead, they were all gone. Julian found it unlikely that Garak hadn’t shed at all until he realized there were other things missing. A water glass that Julian kept reusing every night even though he knew it wasn’t exactly sanitary and some clothing that had been thrown on the floor as he’d packed his bag for the conference were no longer there. His datarods and PADDs were neatly stacked and sorted instead of in a relatively put together pile. The Changeling had _cleaned_ his quarters.

 

                Julian didn’t remember sitting down on the bed, he just remembered his knees feeling weak and the bed suddenly being beneath him. He didn’t hear the door slide open or even Garak’s footsteps as he came into the bedroom, he simply felt his hand on his back.

 

“My dear?” Garak’s light voice cut through Julian’s fog. He turned to see Garak sitting next to him and looking at him expectantly. “Are you alright?”

 

“He wasn’t like me.” Julian breathed. “Not exactly. Not a perfect copy, I mean.”

 

“No, he wasn’t.” Garak said regretfully. “I should have known better.”

 

“Then why didn’t you?” Julian asked, feeling hurt.

 

“Because I wanted to believe the lie.” Garak sighed. “He gave me what I wanted and I took it greedily.”

 

“But it’s not just you.” Julian shook his head. “No one realized it, not even Miles!” Julian felt his voice crack on that last word. “Do you know what he said to me? He said the Changeling was easier to get along with!”

 

“It _had_ to be, my dear.” Garak slowly moved his hand up and down in a soothing motion on Julian’s back. “You can be difficult at times, but that’s a luxury you can afford.”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“People _love_ you.” Garak said firmly. “You can have your flaws and not run the risk of losing any one of us, because you are genuine, real, and beautiful.” Garak let a smile play on his lips. “Flaws in someone you love are endearing, if the Changeling had attempted to mimic your imperfections, he would have been spotted in an instant.”

 

“So you’re saying that if I hadn’t kissed you in the camp, you’d suspect I was a Changeling?” Julian scoffed bitterly.

 

“The declaration of your love was unexpected, but it’s neither a flaw nor a strength.” Garak corrected. “But if the Changeling had ignored me when it arrived, or hadn’t studied avidly for debates, I would have sniffed him out immediately.” Julian simply looked at the Cardassian face next to him. “Don’t you see, my dear? When you make an error or do anything less than wonderfully, I smile at how you recover and respond in a way only _you_ can. A Changeling could never replicate that. Not even a Founder.”

 

“You’re just speculating.” Julian exhaled.

 

“So are you.” Garak smiled. “You’re speculating that you wouldn’t be missed, aren’t you?” Julian said nothing. “Let me assure you, while it may have taken us longer than a month to have realized, nothing and no one could ever replace you. You are like the beating heart of this station, warm and kind.”

 

“I’m surprised you would consider the heart of the station being warm.” Julian smiled sheepishly.

 

“Oh, the station is still freezing. Dreadfully so, in fact.” Garak placed a kiss on Julian’s forehead. “That’s why I like your heat so much.”

 

“Was the Changeling warm?” Julian pulled away from Garak and looked at him with eyes wide.

 

“Yes.” Garak averted his gaze.

 

“Was he kind?” Julian needed to know. He didn’t know why he did, but a part of him feared that Garak had fallen in love with the Changeling, not him.

 

“Not particularly.” Garak admitted. “But I hardly deserve kindness.”

 

“Yes you do.” Julian found himself insisting as he put a hand on Garak’s cheek. “You’re a good man, Garak.” Julian bit his lip. “You’re a good man, _Elim_.”

 

“The Changeling never would have said that.” Garak smiled. “It’s too unbelievable.”

 

“I’m _not_ the Changeling.” Julian said firmly.

 

“I know, my dear.” Garak put his hand over Julian’s. “You’re something far better.”

 

“How can I possibly be better if what makes me different are my flaws?” Julian hung his head in his hands. “I’m sorry, Garak, I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but I just can’t take your lies right now.” Garak simply took Julian’s hand and kissed it softly.

 

“Doctor,” He breathed, getting Julian to look up at him. “Mistakes and flaws are what make us. Doing the ‘right’ or ‘correct’ thing is what’s expected of us. Therefore, an imposter is safest following that template.” Garak rubbed his thumb against the back of Julian’s hand. “But being predictable gets old and keeps us from being individuals.” He paused and thought for a moment. “If the Changeling had known about your enhancements…” He began, Julian’s eyes widened for a moment, clearly a little thrown off by someone actually _talking_ about it with him. “He still wouldn’t have told me. He wouldn’t have told anyone. Because he was trying to be our perception of you. None of us could suspect what you’ve been hiding.”

 

“I’m still not sure I fully understand.” Julian sighed. “Or that I even am comforted, but thank you.”

 

“I wish that I could do more.” Garak tilted his head in concern.

 

“Did you want something?” Julian pulled away and sat up straighter with an awkward smile. “I’m sorry, I was so wrapped up in my own misery; you must have stopped by for a reason.”

 

“I came to see that you were alright.” Garak smiled. “You didn’t respond when I tried hailing you, or even to your door chime.” Julian blinked.

 

“Oh.” He furrowed his brow in confusion. “I didn’t hear any of that.”

 

“You were preoccupied.” Garak dismissed. “No harm done.” He looked around awkwardly for a moment before standing up. “But, seeing as you are safe and sound, I’ll stop intruding on your privacy.” That last word. Julian looked up.

 

“Privacy?” He said in surprise. “Say that word again.”

 

“Privacy.” Garak said carefully. Julian stood up immediately in shock. “Everything alright, my dear?”

 

“You’re speaking Federation Standard!” He pointed accusatorily but had a wide grin on his face. “The translator wouldn’t give you my accent on any words!”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Garak said stiffly.

 

“Like hell you don’t.” Julian smirked confidently. “Starfleet translators are programmed with the accent from the Americas. You just said ‘privacy’ with a European accent.” He crossed his arms like he’d made a great point.

 

“Why is that?” Garak asked curiously. “That Starfleet uses one accent and not another?”

 

“Starfleet is based in the Americas. Federation translators are often made to be European because of headquarters being in France but…” Julian then stopped and shook his head with a smile. “Don’t try to distract me. You’ve been speaking Standard this entire time and you pronounced a word the way you heard me say it.”

 

“And is that a crime?” Garak batted his lashes innocently.

 

“Far from it.” Julian beamed. “But I didn’t know you spoke Standard! In fact, I clearly remember you saying I had a lovely voice in Kardasi and wondering what my real one sounded like!” Garak made no response. “That was another lie? So that people would assume there’s a language barrier protecting them in some imaginary scenario you’re expecting?”

 

“Possibly.” Garak smiled. “Though when we first met, I was still using the translator from time to time, so I do know that your voice is lovely in Kardasi.”

 

“I love you.” Julian grinned and then kissed Garak. “Would you like to stay?” When Garak didn’t say anything, Julian continued. “The night, I mean. You don’t have to, of course, it’s early and there’s a lot we still need to sort out, but what I mean is that you _can_ stay if you want to but don’t think for a sec—“ Garak found himself stopping Julian’s lips with another kiss, this one much longer.

 

“I would like to stay.” He smiled as he rubbed Julian’s cheek with his hand. “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the US, we say "privacy" with an "i" like in "pie" whereas England using the "i" like in "hit"   
> Garak and Julian both use the English pronunciation of "privacy" ("Our Man Bashir") despite Garak having an American accent much of the time (there are other words he changes up) so I believe this is because he is actually speaking Standard and simply saying words the way he hears them. The person he talks to the most is Julian, so sometimes he ends up using his accent.


	5. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak and Julian's night together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor trigger warning! They do a quick blood test in this by Julian cutting his own thumb, but it's a minor slice and then quickly healed by the dermal regenerator.

 

                They didn’t make love that night. There was a sea of kisses and hands exploring each other’s skin, but they remained clothed and simply lay together. It was too soon to get to that next level, it didn’t have to be said, they both knew it. Garak couldn’t have been happier though, he was resting with the man he loved in his arms, his body heat radiating off of him and seemingly penetrating Garak’s own veins. Garak stared at the calm sleeping face next to him, the beauty was like nothing he’d ever seen before.

 

                Garak ran his hand through Julian’s hair, sleepily feeling the softness of it, but he stopped when his fingertips felt something wet. He pulled his hand away and glanced at it. His eyes needed a moment to adjust in the darkness and once they did, he didn’t want to believe what he’d seen but it was unmistakable. There, on Garak’s hand, was the amber like fluid of a Changeling. Garak’s heart began pounding and he looked at the sleeping face again, only this time, Julian’s eyes were wide open and he had a dark smile. His eyes were the first things to melt into liquid, but soon Garak found himself drowning in a puddle much like the Great Link. He tried desperately to get out, but it was as if his arms and legs were held still.

 

“Garak!” Julian shouted, causing Garak to wake up in shock. “You were having a nightmare.” Julian gave a warm smile and moved a hand to Garak’s cheek. Garak grabbed the wrist on instinct, stopping the movement. “Garak, are you alright?”

 

“Yes, yes, I’m fine.” Garak let out a nervous chuckle. “Apologies, I simply needed a moment.”

 

“Elim.” Julian scowled, his wrist still held. “I’ve asked you not to lie to me about your well-being. You’re obviously terrified.”

 

“It’s nothing, my dear.” Garak shook his head.

 

“Then why haven’t you let me go yet?” Julian raised his brow. “Computer, lights to thirty percent.” The room became dimly lit and they each blinked as their eyes adjusted. “It’s okay, you’re safe now.”

 

“I know,” Garak let Julian’s hand go. “Like I said, I simply needed a moment.”

 

“What was the nightmare about?” Julian asked as he cautiously moved to stroke Garak’s hair. “You were saying my name.”

 

“I was?”

 

“And smiling at first.” Julian blushed. “That’s why I didn’t wake you right away. You seemed happy, but then you started thrashing and your skin went clammy.”

 

“I’m sorry to have woken you.” Garak attempted to calm his breathing.

 

“I was already awake.” Julian shrugged. “I could only get an hour or two of rest at a time in the camp, so it might take some time for me to get back onto a normal rhythm.” He smiled at Garak. “And I liked watching you sleep.”

 

“I thought I was supposed to be the spy.” Garak smiled back.

 

“Damn, you’ve caught me.” Julian laughed. “I was going to report to Starfleet Intelligence on how adorable you look when you’re resting.”

 

“That is information I certainly don’t want getting out.” Julian smiled at that and left a tender kiss on Garak’s lips.

 

“I’m not going to force you to tell me what happened.” Julian sighed. “And honestly, I don’t put much stock in dreams, but if you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

 

“You weren’t in it, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Garak said uncomfortably.

 

“Oh?” Julian asked curiously. “Do you often say my name when I’m not around?”

 

“I _thought_ you were in it.” Garak added.

 

“The Changeling.” Julian breathed. “He’s dead, Elim. This is real.” He took Garak’s hand and pressed their palms together.

 

“I know.” Garak whispered. Julian pursed his lips uncomfortably. “I’m sorry, I know I’m being irrational and paranoid. Old habits die hard, I suppose.” Julian pulled away and got out of bed.

 

“Wait here one second.” He said as he went to the other room. Julian returned with both a dermal regenerator and a simple knife. He handed the knife over to Garak and held out his arm. “Go ahead.”

 

“My dear, this is hardly necessary.” Garak assured, even though there was a part of him that truly did need to see Julian bleed to know for certain.

 

“You’re not sure.” Julian shook his head. “You want to be, but you’re not. I don’t blame you.” He sighed. “That _thing_ violated you and yet you’re brave enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable around me.” Julian gave a small smile. “It’s okay to be a little wary. I want you to actually feel safe, not just pretend you do.” Garak didn’t move a muscle and Julian sighed again as he took the knife back and simply made a small cut on his thumb. He showed both the blood on the knife to Garak as well as where the incision was made on his flesh. “It’s really me. I’m really here, and I really love you.” He smiled.

 

“Thank you.” Garak breathed as he felt his anxiety wash away. He took the dermal regenerator from Julian and mended the man of his desires’ finger. “I’ll try my best not to think of ways a Changeling could have done that.” He said with a small joking smile which Julian returned.

 

“We’re both going to be messed up after this.” Julian went back into the bed and wrapped his arms around Garak. “So we have to do our best to help each other through.” He sighed against Garak’s chest. “That means assuring you that I’m not a Changeling.”

 

“And reminding you that you’re loved and valuable.” Garak nervously ran a hand through Julian’s hair, afraid he would again find Changeling fluid. He didn’t though, a simple dry softness. “And that you’re utterly irreplaceable.”

 

“You make me sound so needy.” Julian whined before kissing Garak sweetly.

 

“It’s far better than you being aloof.” Garak paused, remembering how the Changeling loved to be praised and honored but never cared to return such affection. “I’d be honored if I thought for one second that you truly needed me.”

 

“I _do_ need you, Elim.” Garak loved the way Julian’s eyes darted nervously every time he dared to use Garak’s first name. “I trust you and love you.” He brought his hand to Garak’s cheek. “And…” Julian paused and bit his lip. “I want to tell people about us.” Garak blinked in surprise.

 

“But why?” He asked bluntly.

 

“Because I want to show you off.” Julian blushed. “Not to mention I don’t want to have to hide my affection anymore. You have no idea how many times in the Replimat I’ve wanted to kiss you.” He laughed. “Or punch you, but the point is I’ll only be left with the latter option if we’re keeping us a secret.”

 

“If you’ll have me,” Garak smiled. “I would be honored to be known as the lover of Dr. Bashir.”

 

“I was thinking more along the lines of ‘boyfriend’ to be honest.” Julian blushed again. “So that way I can bring you to dinners at Captain Sisko’s and maybe even over to the O’Brien’s.” His face broke out into a wide grin. “Not to mention you get to be my date during diplomatic events.”

 

“You’re hardly making this an enticing offer.” Garak said, rolling his eyes. “If I didn’t love you so much, I would be horrified.” Garak shook his head. “And yet, all I can think about now is what to wear.”

 

“You always look splendid.” Julian smiled before again kissing Garak passionately.


	6. Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian goes to tell Sisko about his new romance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty short and so are the next two, but it didn't feel right to put them together and also I'm trying to churn these out for you guys XD

 

“Captain, is it possible I may have a word with you?” Julian asked once he entered Ops. Sisko raised an eyebrow with an all too knowing smile.

 

“Of course, my office.” He ordered lightly as he led the way. Once he sat down at his desk, he reached for his baseball and turned it in his hand. “I assume this is about Garak?” Julian blinked in surprise before realizing what must have happened.

 

“Worf told you?” He sighed.

 

“Actually, it was General Martok.” Sisko smirked. “Though I would have preferred you warning me first.”

 

“That _is_ why I’m here now, sir.” Julian shifted uncomfortably. “Our relationship is a recent development.”

 

“But it’s been a long time coming.” Sisko leaned his elbow on his desk, still holding the baseball. “At least that’s what Jake’s told me.”

 

“ _Jake_ , sir?” Julian gaped.

 

“Nog told him you had feelings for Garak.” Sisko had a cruel grin on his face, happily toying with Julian.

 

“And…” Julian massaged the bridge of his nose. “Dare I ask how Nog found this out?”

 

“Leeta or Quark.” Sisko shrugged. “Or maybe all three of them discussed it. Like I said, I was told by my son.”

 

“I see…” Julian looked up at the ceiling as if divine intervention could get him out of this mess.

 

“Relax, doctor.” Sisko smiled as he put the baseball back on its stand. “You’re not in trouble.” Sisko stood up and shook his head. “You’re free to be involved with Mr. Garak if you so wish. He is no longer a member of the Obsidian Order and due to recent events, his being an exile actually helps your case.”

 

“Sir?”

 

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” Sisko nodded. “A personal foe of Gul Dukat has certainly gained points with the Federation thanks to our old friend’s new Dominion allegiance.”

 

“Good things come to those who hate Dukat.” Julian grinned happily. “This is quite a relief, sir.” Julian let out a happy laugh.

 

“You will be careful with that one, right doctor?” Sisko said, projecting that paternal air he so easily possessed.

 

“Yes, sir.” Julian nodded emphatically. “You can’t know how much this means to me!” He was grinning from ear to ear like an absolute fool.

 

“I don’t mean to pry,” Sisko exhaled cautiously, “but this is more than a fleeting infatuation, right? The Bajorans may not be too happy with this, and it may be worth avoiding if you don’t feel a deep connection.”

 

“I love him, sir.” Julian nodded firmly. “We’ve confessed our feelings for each other already and I hope to spend the rest of my life with him.” Sisko blinked in surprise.

 

“You’re already more invested than I was thinking.” Sisko shook his head with a fond look. “You’ve got it bad, doctor. I’m afraid there’s no cure for love.”

 

“Who would want to be cured?” Julian beamed.

 

“No one of good sense.” Sisko smiled back. “Dismissed, doctor.” He said with a nod and Julian practically skipped out of his office.

 


	7. Something Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian tells his best friend about Garak and someone new arrives on the station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, sorry! It just didn't feel right to drag it out.

 

“I’m in love, Miles.” Julian said casually as if he wasn’t terrified as to what the response would be. He got a bullseye, he felt it would help enunciate his point. “I thought you should know.” He turned around from taking the darts out of the board and shrugged.

 

“Don’t worry, I won’t miss you if you start ignoring me for your new girl.” Miles laughed as he took the darts. “I was actually going to tell you that I don’t know when I’ll be able to get away what with Kirayoshi and making sure Molly doesn’t feel replaced herself.” Julian shivered.

 

“It’s never good to feel like you can be replaced.” He mumbled. Miles turned to him and gave a sympathetic look, but said nothing. “How is Kirayoshi doing, by the way?”

 

“You should feel his grip!” Miles beamed. “He’ll be stronger than me after a year.”

 

“That wouldn’t be much of an accomplishment.” Miles gave an offended look and Julian put up his hands in defense. “Only joking, Chief!”

 

“My boy can probably beat you in arm wrestling already.” Miles grumbled as he threw his first dart. “So tell me about this girl, I know you’re dying to.” He threw a second one, this time landing a bit closer to the center.

 

“It’s a man, actually.” Julian began, preparing himself for whatever reaction his friend would have.

 

“Ah!” Miles got a bullseye. “It’s been a while for you, hasn’t it?”

 

“A bit…” Julian smiled.

 

“Well, then he must be something special.” Miles chuckled before stopping and turning. “Ah hell, it’s not me, is it? I’m a married man, Julian.”

 

“I’ll try to get over you.” Julian said rolling his eyes. “But know that my heart is breaking.”

 

“Alright, so now that we’ve established you’ve got good taste in men,” Miles laughed as he faced the dart board again and readied his aim, “who is your second choice?”

 

“It’s Garak.” Miles completely missed the board and the dart fell to the floor.

 

“The _Cardassian_?” He whirled around and looked at Julian in shock.

 

“He’s certainly not Andorian.” Julian said lightheartedly.

 

“The _spy_!?” Miles pressed. Julian nodded. “I didn’t know my rejection would have you spiraling down so badly!”

 

“I’m serious, Miles.” Julian sighed. “I love him and he loves me.”

 

“When did this start?” Miles asked.

 

“I’ve had feelings for him for…” Julian ran a hand through his hair. “Honestly, too long at this point.”

 

“Did he know you were replaced?” Miles said, thinking. “Before he found you in the camp, I mean.” Julian shook his head sadly. “Julian, don’t think I’m trying to hurt you, but what if the man just feels guilty?”

 

“I’m sorry?” Julian asked, confused.

 

“I didn’t know you were missing.” Miles sighed, it was the first time they _really_ talked about it. “I should have known, and I didn’t. I can make jokes and tell myself no one else did either, but I can’t help feeling like a bullocks friend who owes you big time.” Miles shook his head. “I’m not saying it _is_ that way for him, I’m just trying to make sure.”

 

“You’re saying he could just be humoring me as an apology?” Julian murmured. “I… suppose it’s possible.” Miles was about to say something but they were interrupted by a new voice.

 

“Dr. Bashir, I presume?” A man in an engineering uniform said to them.

 

“Yes?” Julian said, trying to readjust. “What can I do for you?”

 

“It’s actually what I can do for you.” The man lifted his head up with an air of superiority. “I’m here to give you immortality.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like it when Miles is written as super disapproving of Garak. I mean, I especially hate when people act like he's homophobic (if the Federation is really as good as it's supposed to be, I'd say people are chill with the LGBTQ+ community) but he is certainly not a fan of Cardassians. More than that, I think he's raising a valid point and he's really just looking out for his best friend.


	8. Tendency to Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Zimmerman has trouble getting the truth out of Garak. Or does he?

 

 

“How long have you known Dr. Bashir?” Dr. Zimmerman sighed with a PADD in hand and looked at Garak. The man clearly was not enjoying conducting interview after interview.

 

“I introduced myself a few days after he arrived on the station.” As much as this interview provided a lovely opportunity for particularly fun lying, Garak was quite sure his new “boyfriend” would rather he kept his answers as truthful as he could in this case.

 

“I see, and what was your impression of him at first?”

 

“I thought he was a brilliant, charming, and attractive young man.” Again, all true. Dr. Zimmerman gave an unimpressed look and sighed again.

 

“Mr. Garak, I’ve been warned that you have a tendency to lie, so please don’t joke around now.” The man raised his brow in a challenging manner.

 

“I assure you, doctor. That was my first impression of him.” Garak insisted. “Why else would I have approached him?”

 

“Other accounts suggest that you were trying to get information out of him.” Dr. Zimmerman glanced at something on his PADD. “Due to your connections with the Obsidian Order.”

 

“I have no idea what you’re referring to.” Garak said, rolling his eyes. “And I’ll admit he probably thought that was my intention,” Garak smiled at the memory of their first encounter, “the man certainly has an imagination,” He chuckled softly, “but that was not what I’d been looking for when I’d introduced myself.”

 

“Then what _were_ you looking for?” Dr. Zimmerman prompted.

 

“Sex.” Garak smiled as the PADD fell from Dr. Zimmerman’s hand.

 

“Mr. Garak, please,” Dr. Zimmerman said, shaking his head. “I’m asking you to take this seriously.”

 

“I’m being quite serious.” Garak’s smile only grew. “You have to admit that he’s an incredibly handsome man.”

 

“Did you ever make your feelings known?” Dr. Zimmerman suddenly leaned in with new interest. Garak nodded. “And how did he go about rejecting you?”

 

“He didn’t exactly have the opportunity to reject me seeing how he was the one who confessed his interest first.” Garak tilted his head. “This was all a little less than one Bajoran week ago.”

 

“You and he are lovers?” Dr. Zimmerman’s eyes widened.

 

“He prefers the term ‘boyfriends’ which I’m not sure I like, quite yet.” Garak shook his head. “It seems so impersonal and juvenile.”

 

“In all due respect, Mr. Garak.” Garak already knew this next question would be anything but respectful. “Why should I believe Dr. Bashir would enter into a relationship with you?”

 

“You’re suggesting I’m not good enough for him?” Garak scoffed, although he couldn’t help but agree. “I had gotten the impression that you didn’t like Dr. Bashir. Therefore your opinion of me must be particularly low.”

 

“Dr. Bashir pursued Lt. Jadzia Dax persistently,” Dr. Zimmerman was again referencing his notes. “And then became involved with an absolutely stunning Dabo girl.”

 

“Leeta.” Garak corrected. It didn’t seem right that the young lady be reduced to only her looks and profession.

 

“Yes, Leeta.” Dr. Zimmerman smiled. Garak felt physically repulsed. “You’re certainly very different from his previous…”

 

“Interests?” Garak supplied. Dr. Zimmerman nodded. “I suppose that makes me special.” Garak grinned. Dr. Zimmerman rolled his eyes.

 

“What do you think of him now? Beyond your attraction.”

 

“He’s the most perfect creature the universe has ever known.” It became so much easier to be completely honest for Garak, as it seemed Dr. Zimmerman didn’t want to believe a word of it. “And you’d better get his eyes right in your programming. Half of who he is and what he’s thinking all comes from what he shows in his eyes.”

 

“Mr. Garak.” Dr. Zimmerman put down his PADD now, clearly annoyed. “You’re not describing a man, you’re describing a fantasy and I don’t appreciate you holding up my work.”

 

“Believe me, this is not a fantasy I’m describing.” Garak pressed ardently. He knew all too well the difference between his Julian and a fantasy. “He is very real and absolutely exquisite.” Again, Zimmerman rolled his eyes. “And you’re right to feel inadequate around him, as you are an absolute joke in comparison.” Garak added for good measure.

 

“That will be all, Mr. Garak.” Dr. Zimmerman said firmly as he stood abruptly. “Thank you for your time.”

 

“My pleasure!” Garak grinned as he began to leave the room. “And please, if you can’t manage to get the eyes right, don’t bother at all.” Zimmerman grumbled something in response as Garak left before he turned to his PADD and made a note saying to disregard everything said in that interview, as it was all clearly lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it drives me insane that Garak wasn't in this episode even just for a quick shot of him being interviewed. Ah well~


	9. Childhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak meets Julian's parents and Julian finds himself feeling like a rebellious teenager all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here there be porn! And woot! I wrote it sober! *sobs my little asexual spectrum tears* 
> 
> Also, sorry if anyone actually likes Richard Bashir. I hate him. I can't stand him. I know too many parents like him, so I will write him how I've always viewed him.

 

                Garak arrived a bit early at the Replimat, anticipating his scheduled lunch with Julian. What he hadn’t anticipated was the older couple that a very miserable Julian brought along with him.

 

“Dr. Bashir.” Garak nodded with a smile, not sure how to react.

 

“What’s a Cardassian doing on the station?” The unidentified man said in an accusatory tone. Julian’s eyes seemed permanently rolled upward.

 

“At the moment, he’s obviously eating.” Julian grumbled before putting on the falsest of smiles. “Mum, dad, this is Elim Garak.” Garak raised his eye ridges and stood up.

 

“A pleasure to meet you.” He smiled while extending his hand.

 

“Richard Bashir.” The man said before taking Garak’s hand suspiciously. “And this is my wife, Amsha.” Garak nodded at the woman who smiled. “We just arrived on the station, our son is finally showing us around his odd home.” Julian clicked his tongue in annoyance.

 

“It seems Dr. Zimmerman demanded their presence.” He sighed and seemed to make a conscious effort to “play nice.” “They’ve never visited before, since I’m just so busy.”

 

“That’s youth, isn’t it?” Richard Bashir scoffed. “Always claiming they’re too busy for those what raised them.”

 

“There has been a war on.” Garak offered. “Your son is a very important man here on the front lines.” Julian gave an appreciative smile before returning to his obvious discomfort. “You should be—“ Garak feigned a wince, “proud.”

 

“Garak, are you alright?” Julian asked sincerely.

 

“I’m not sure…” He paused before wincing again and gripping his temples. “Doctor, I may have to ask you to take me to the infirmary.” Julian’s eyes widened in concern as he rushed to support Garak by the arm. “I’m sorry to cut your tour short.” Garak nodded to the Bashirs while still holding his supposed aching head.

 

“It would be nice to watch Jules work.” Amsha smiled. Garak immediately shook his head.

 

“I’m sorry, madam, but we Cardassians value our…” he paused before saying the word in the same fashion he’d always heard Julian say it, “privacy.” Julian seemed to catch on and smiled.

 

“Yes, it’s a cultural issue.” Julian said, nodding to his parents. “But once I’m done in the infirmary I’ll catch up with you?” Julian didn’t wait for a reply as he escorted his “ailing” patient to the infirmary. “Now, what seems to be the trouble?” Julian smirked once he got Garak into his office.

 

“I should be asking you that.” Garak smiled. “You seemed in desperate need of escape.” Julian gave an awkward chuckle, so unlike the Changeling’s reaction when Garak had “rescued” him from O’Brien.

 

“Well, now you’ve met my parents.” Julian sighed. “They’re really not that bad.” He shrugged.

 

“You don’t actually believe that, do you?” Garak asked curiously. “They’re clearly not good to you.” Julian looked surprised to actually hear someone say that. “At least, your father seems highly insensitive. I didn’t get much from your mother, though that alone says who the more dominant one is.”

 

“You only just met them.” Julian said, crossing his arms. “And you are already making judgments?”

 

“And I’m trusting your judgment, as someone who’s known them your entire life.” Garak added. “You weren’t just uncomfortable with them being around, your father was making little comments that may have seemed innocuous, but were obviously things that you are sensitive about.” Garak shook his head. “It’s a classic abuse method to make your target feel isolated and insecure.”

 

“Speaking from experience?” Julian smirked.

 

“Are you asking if I’ve ever employed the use of that method or if Tain ever used it on me?”

 

“Either.” Julian shrugged.

 

“Both.” Garak sighed. “But I’m sure talking about childhood is not something you want to be doing right now.”

 

“Actually…” Julian smiled. “You’re the one person I _can_ talk to about it.” Garak tilted his head. “Remember what I told you? About me? In the prison camp?” Garak nodded. “My parents did that to me. They couldn’t just love Jules Bashir!” Julian grumbled and began pacing. “No, they had to throw away the baby with the bath water and start all over again!”

 

“I see…” Garak thought.

 

“And my father holds it over my head like I actually _wanted_ this!” Julian huffed. It was clear he’d been holding these resentments for a while. “Like everything I am is owed to him. Which isn’t even remotely true since the child that he was actually responsible for doesn’t even exist anymore!”

 

“You’re your own man.” Garak offered. “Biologically you can argue that you don’t really have ties to them if you’d like.”

 

“That’s not exactly true though, is it?” Julian sighed. “Maybe if they hadn’t messed with my mind so much, I’d be able to believe that.” Julian sat down in his chair and slumped. “But I _am_ a Bashir. I’m just not Jules. And I’m certainly not normal.”

 

“Julian…” Garak breathed as he walked over to him. “You’re the kindest and most loving man I’ve ever met in my life.” He cupped Julian’s cheek and raised his face. “I said that you’re the beating heart of this station, and I meant it.” Julian broke into a wide grin before biting his lip. “What’s that look mean?” Garak said warily as Julian stood up.

 

“I can lock the door.” Julian smirked. “And if we keep the noise down, no one will know…” Julian put a hand on Garak’s chest and played with the fastening there.

 

“You want to…” Garak glanced at the door, “here?” Julian shrugged with a grin. “Truly?” Julian smiled and walked over to the pad on the door, locking it.

 

“We don’t have to.” Julian put his hands behind his back innocently and walked right up to Garak before whispering in his ear. “But we certainly _could_.”

 

“There’s no bed.” Garak said, darting his eyes around the room.

 

“We’ll make due.” Julian purred. Garak rolled his eyes.

 

“I take it you’ve done this before?” Julian laughed.

 

“No, actually.” He shook his head. “The idea of sex in the workplace has always seemed unprofessional and immature to me.”

 

“Then why would you want to engage in it now?” Garak raised an eye ridge as Julian slowly moved a finger to stroke Garak’s ridges.

 

“My parents are here treating me like I’m still a teenager.” Julian smiled as he drew a soft hiss from Garak. “I might as well act like one.” Julian was certainly being persuasive in his own right, but something else that made Garak shiver with excitement was the juxtaposition of it all. The Changeling had disapproved greatly when Garak tried to fool around in his shop and when he did engage, he’d quickly taken care of Garak and then was on his way. The real Julian was yearning for this and hoping that Garak would respond in kind. “It’s okay if you don’t want to.” Julian blushed and began to pull away. Garak quickly grabbed Julian by the waist and kissed him.

 

“Oh, I most certainly want to.” Garak smiled. His hands began travelling down Julian’s back before Garak found himself pushed onto the office chair and straddled.

 

                Julian stopped for a moment to smile fondly at him before Garak found his lips claimed once again. Garak hadn’t realized how cold his mouth even was compared to Julian’s. It was almost as if the young man’s lips were the opening to a hot spring. Garak absolutely melted into the sensation, wanting nothing more than to bask in Julian’s warmth forever.

 

                Garak hummed his pleasure when Julian moved his tongue to his neck ridges, feeling himself about ready to evert. When Julian moved his mouth to his shoulder and his hand to the other side, Garak was blooming in full, slightly throwing Julian off balance. Julian looked down at the new bulge in surprise before smiling and moving his hand to push away Garak’s trousers. He blinked for a moment as he looked at what was revealed and tilted his head as if trying to understand something.

 

“You create your own lubricant?” Julian smiled.

 

“Is this really the time for a study, doctor?” Garak whined slightly and began pulling down Julian’s own trousers, causing Julian to chuckle. Julian helped Garak remove his clothing before biting his lip and grinning.

 

“No, but be prepared to answer some questions later.” Julian moved a finger to lightly feather Garak’s cock with a smirk. “For now, I think we should put this to good use.” Garak let out a soft moan before slicking his own hands and bringing them to Julian’s rear. The first finger slowly entering earned a gasp from the young man and softer urgings as it continued to work its way deeper and deeper.

 

“Sh, sh, shush, love.” Garak whispered. “We wouldn’t want your nurses rushing in here to see what’s wrong.”

 

“Mm,” Julian sighed as Garak continued with a second finger, then a third. “I bet you’d love it though.” He chuckled before biting his lip and letting his eyes close.

 

“The looks on their faces _would_ be amusing.” Garak smiled. “But I think I’ve kept you waiting long enough.” He removed his fingers and Julian could have almost hurt himself as he flipped himself over so quickly. Garak eased him back down with steady guidance and that was the end of Garak’s own composure.

 

                He gave little thrusts, desperate to keep them from falling off the chair that was certainly not designed for this sort of activity. Garak’s hand found Julian’s own cock and he began stroking fiercely due to how much wild passion he was feeling but unable to shout it out. Julian let out soft noises of pleasure before they both heard the sound of a door chime.

 

“Dr. Bashir?” Garak quickly threw his hand up and covered Julian’s mouth. The two men were frozen in their highly compromising position as the door chimed again. “Dr. Bashir, are you alright?” It was nurse Jabara.

 

“The computer says he’s in there.” The other voice was Lt. Dax, probably desperate to learn the details of Julian’s new romance for her to gossip about. “Julian? You okay?” Julian turned his head back slightly to cast a quick glance at Garak who dropped his hand.

 

“Yes, uh…” Garak couldn’t help himself, Julian’s neck was too tempting. He placed a small kiss just beneath Julian’s ear. “Can you come back a bit later?” Julian swallowed a gasp when Garak nipped in the same spot. “I want to finish writing up this report before I lose my train of thought!” He called out before glaring at Garak who batted his lashes and smiled innocently.

 

“Okay, just see me before the end of the day!” Jadzia cheerily replied before she and nurse Jabara could be heard walking away from the door. Julian began panting in relief.

 

“Very funny.” Julian grumbled, though his anger was betrayed by a small smile.

 

“I thought so.” Garak breathed as he returned his hand to Julian’s throbbing cock. “Now, where were we?” Julian wriggled his hips slightly, causing Garak to gasp at the sensation.

 

“You know exactly where.” Julian purred.

 

                It obviously didn’t take much longer for the two to be brought over the edge. They were both left gasping for air and Julian stumbled upright and began readjusting his trousers. He then looked down at the mess they’d made and started laughing.

 

“I hope this won’t interfere with your _experiment_ , doctor.” Garak chuckled. Julian shook his head and pressed a button on the wall.

 

“Computer: begin sterilization of humanoid ejaculate matter.” There was a low mechanical whirring sound as the mess seemed to evaporate, even off of the clothing of the two men. In fact, Garak was a little alarmed by how clean he suddenly was.

 

“That seems handy.” Garak smiled as he fixed his clothing.

 

“We didn’t have a single decontaminator unit when I first arrived.” Julian smiled fondly at the machine. “And it took another two years before I was able to get one installed in my office.”

 

“You should try and get one installed in your quarters.” Garak chuckled again. “I know how you hate mess.” Julian tilted his head with a confused smile.

 

“I don’t mind a little mess?” Garak froze when he realized he’d been thinking of the Changeling, but said nothing. Julian shook his head. “No, I just don’t think it’d be right to leave my workplace covered in…” He blushed. “Well, you know.”

 

“Right, of course.” Garak recovered with a smile as he stood up. “Well, doctor, I think I’m feeling much better now.”

 

“I’m glad to hear it.” Julian smirked. “And is it possible you’ll come over for dinner tonight?” Julian sighed. “It’d be nice to have someone beside me while I’m dealing with my parents.”

 

“I’ll be there.” Garak nodded. “But what are we going to tell your parents about us?”

 

“We’re madly in love.” Julian shrugged. “And if they have a problem with that, it won’t even be the biggest issue between us.” Julian smiled.

 

“You’re in a good mood all of a sudden.” Garak noted.

 

“As if you don’t know why.” Julian said, licking his own lips before planting another kiss on Garak’s.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way to Julian Bashir's heart: "Your resentment of your parents is valid and you are a good and warm person." <\-- Guaranteed to get you a doctor ready for loooove~~~


	10. Brilliant Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak joins the Bashirs for dinner. It seemed like a good idea to Julian at the time...

 

                It had seemed like a brilliant idea when Julian had had it, though he had been riding the waves of ecstasy from _finally_ having sex with Garak. Still, he didn’t expect the tension at dinner to be _this_ bad. His father was glaring at Garak the moment he explained their relationship and his mother was just awkwardly asking Julian about his work. Julian wasn’t sure if he was relieved or horrified when Garak decided to speak up as well.

 

“So how does one go about getting illegal genetic enhancements?” Garak said as nonchalantly as seemed possible. That had Julian’s father gagging on his wine. “I assume there was an underground formed ever since the practice was outlawed, but that was quite some time ago if I’m not mistaken.”

 

“I told Elim.” Julian hurriedly supplied as he watched his parents begin to panic. “We can trust him.”

 

“I suppose we’ll _have_ to now.” Richard Bashir grimaced. “Mr. Garak,”

 

“Just ‘Garak’ will do.” Garak smiled politely.

 

“ _Garak_ ,” Richard readjusted his sitting so he was leaning more over the table instead of relaxing in his seat. “It’s not something we talk openly about.”

 

“He _knows_ that, dad.” Julian rolled his eyes. “He’s just addressing the elephant in the room immediately.”

 

“Why anyone _wouldn’t_ immediately point out a massive beast that was inexplicably indoors is a mystery.” Garak shook his head. “Unless I’m confusing elephants with mice again. One is large and one is small but I always get them mixed up for some reason.”

 

“You were right, elephants are huge.” Julian nodded with a grin. “And I imagine your confusion is due to when I explained that people think elephants are afraid of mice even though that’s been disproven many times.”

 

“Ah, that’s right!” Garak smiled as if a great mystery had been solved. Julian then decided that, yes, it was a good idea to bring Garak.

 

“You won’t tell anyone, will you, Mr. Garak?” Amsha Bashir seemed to be pleading nervously with her eyes and timid voice.

 

“Just ‘Garak’, ma’am.” Garak reminded kindly. “And no, I have no intention of causing my dear doctor any strife.” Amsha nodded and thought over his words quietly. “Love is no small matter to a Cardassian.”

 

“Nor to a human.” Julian smirked while giving Garak a sideways glance. This was the first dinner Julian had ever had with his parents where someone was on _his_ side. Julian’s mother would often try and soothe the tensions between him and his father, but she also supported Richard as much as she supported Julian, if not more. This was someone at the table who was simply there for him. His heart warmed when Garak returned his glance with a grin and placed a light hand on his thigh. This was love and Julian wondered how he’d ever lived without it.

 

“So you’ve been together for a long time?” Richard asked, looking between Garak and Julian.

 

“We’ve known each other for five years.” Garak nodded. Purposefully omitting the fact that they’d only really confessed their feelings for each other a week ago. Julian was grateful for that. As much as he enjoyed watching Garak play his games, there was only so much antagonizing of Julian’s father that would be wise. Julian had tested the limits plenty of times when he’d first learned about his enhancements, earning him a firm smack across the cheek and then being locked in his room for the rest of the evening. Maybe that was one of the reasons Julian liked Garak so much? He knew how to rebel without crossing the line… usually.

 

“And how long have you been around Bajor?” Richard narrowed his eyes, clearly wondering what Garak’s involvement with the occupation had been.

 

“Longer.” Garak smiled innocently. “But things didn’t really get interesting around here until your son’s arrival.” He paused for a moment before adding, “And the wormhole discovery, of course.”

 

“It must have been exciting to be here when it first appeared.” Amsha prompted shyly. “We were lucky to see it open not too long after we arrived.”

 

“The transmitted recordings don’t really do it justice.” Richard nodded. Julian was somewhat taken aback, but not in a negative way. It’d been so long since he’d viewed the wormhole as something positive or beautiful, lately it had been the gateway to that hell he’d just escaped from. Before that, it was an ominous portal toward a warzone. True, it was lovely, but they’d been so naïve with excitement at first. Julian mused that maybe that’s how his parents still viewed him, their perfect child, oblivious to how much can go wrong and what dangers lie just on the other side.

 

“Have you gone to the Gamma Quadrant, Garak?” Amsha smiled, warming up a bit. Garak looked down at his food and poked at a bit of curry.

 

“On a few occasions.” He said slowly. Julian wasn’t sure just how uncomfortable Garak would be talking about the Gamma Quadrant. The prison camp had been one thing, but his other two trips had been what he thought was the death of Tain and then the next got him thrown in jail.

 

“It’s not really a vacation spot right now, mum.” Julian said with a slight smile as if it were meant to be somewhat of a joke. Bringing the war and their impending doom into the conversation was certainly _not_ the way to get through this evening.

 

“Why would a tailor go into Dominion space?” Richard asked suspiciously.

 

“We didn’t always know about the Dominion.” Julian hurriedly supplied. “Captain Sisko went on a camping trip there before meeting the Jem’Hadar.”

 

“The Jem’Hadar managed to somehow make camping worse.” Garak shook his head.

 

“Camping is a builder of character!” Richard said proudly. Julian groaned internally. “It helps man remember the simplicity of life and avoid becoming lost in technology. Otherwise we run the risk of becoming machines ourselves, like the Borg.” It wasn’t the worst comparison Julian had heard his father make, but it was certainly on the list.

 

“I think I can avoid assimilation and still have an actual bed to sleep on.” Garak just fell short of rolling his eyes. “There are benefits to being an advanced species, I intend to enjoy them.”

 

“That kind of thinking makes a man grow soft.” Richard motioned with his fork as if preparing for a lecture. “You have to keep yourself prepared in case you’re ever stuck roughing it.”

 

“Prepared for what?” Garak almost laughed. “Do you really believe ‘roughing it’ is a relevant concern in this day and age?” Garak put down his utensils and lifted his hands. “Let’s argue, for a moment, that you crash land on a planet and absolutely none of your modern day amenities survive,” Garak nodded approval at his own hypothetical situation, “camping skills aren’t going to have you rescued as easily as common sense.” He shook his head now. “There aren’t many uninhabited Class-M planets left, so there will almost definitely be intelligent life wherever you’re stranded.” He picked up his fork again and went for his rice. “Not to mention, population levels have been increasing steadily in the Federation, and the Klingon Empire. There’s also been rapid population growth on Bajor and Cardassia, so this planet you crash on won’t just be inhabited, it will be covered in intelligent life.” He shook his head again, but this time with a smile. “You’d maybe be a ten mile walk from some kind of home. In which case, your social skills are going to be most useful, not your ability to start a fire.”

 

“That’s an ideal scenario.” Richard challenged.

 

“True, you could land on a different class of planet.” Garak nodded. “But then the atmosphere will kill you and in that case, camping won’t be of much use to you there either.”

 

“All of this is hypothetical.” Richard Bashir scowled, shaking his head.

 

“The idea that you would ever need to be prepared for something that required camping skills is hypothetical.” Garak countered. “I’m merely engaging in the speculative exercise you’ve proposed.”

 

“How long do you plan on staying?” Julian quickly interjected, seeing how his father was getting ready to continue this debate into a full-fledged argument.

 

“We haven’t decided yet.” Richard said firmly, essentially threatening that Julian wasn’t about to get rid of them that easily.

 

“We don’t know how long Dr. Zimmerman is going to want us.” Amsha added hurriedly. “Did he ask many questions?” She turned, asking Garak.

 

“Not an excessive amount.” Garak replied. “Though I imagine he’ll have more for you than he had for me.” Now Garak did roll his eyes. “He’s an _interesting_ character.”

 

“He seemed to be a smart man.” Richard said firmly, probably just to be at odds with Garak.

 

“Yes, he makes sure everyone gets that impression.” Garak had an amused smirk. “People with something to prove are the most pathetic.” Had that been intended to be a stab at Richard Bashir? Julian wasn’t sure, and he was a bit afraid to look at his father’s face to see if he’d suspected the same thing. Luckily, when he did steal a glance, it seemed the criticism went over the man’s head.

 

“I don’t think Dr. Zimmerman likes me very much.” Julian confessed. It seemed to be a good way to change the topic.

 

“Why wouldn’t he like you, Jules?” Amsha seemed hurt personally in the way only a mother could be. Julian then went on to explain how Zimmerman had modeled the EMH after himself, and how Starfleet Medical chose Julian over Zimmerman for the LMH. Garak helped supply biting criticisms of the other man as well as praise of Julian so while the rest of the evening was painful, Julian was able to survive. When his parents finally left and went to their guest quarters, Julian sighed against the closed door and felt a headache coming on.

 

“I think your parents adore me.” Garak teased as he ushered Julian over to his bed. Julian simply let himself be led about.

 

“Oh, I’m sure they like you about as much as they like me.” Julian scoffed. Garak knelt down and removed Julian’s boots for him. “Mm, that feels amazing.” Julian sighed when he felt Garak begin to knead his feet’s arches.

 

“ _You_ feel amazing.” Garak smiled as he continued to work to relax Julian. “I hope the evening wasn’t too terrible for you.”

 

“It was better with you there.” Julian sighed before pulling his feet out of Garak’s hands. “Thank you, by the way.” He smiled at the man and patted the spot next to him, Garak took the spot and sat.

 

“I can’t offer you a family dinner in return, what with Tain’s recent death.” Garak said. “But maybe one day you’ll meet my mother.”

 

“She’s alive?” Julian said surprised. Of course he’d heard Tain regret not killing the woman before Garak was born, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t eventually, or even that she hadn’t died due to something else. “What’s she like?”

 

“She’s a good woman.” Garak shrugged with a smile. “She’s really everything a mother should be.” Julian’s face broke into a large grin, he hadn’t heard Garak ever talk about someone so fondly. It was beautiful to think that he had a family member who really loved him and was still alive.

 

“I hope I do meet her.” Julian found himself leaning a bit so he was resting his head on Garak’s shoulder. “Maybe she’ll show me baby pictures of you and tell cute stories.” Garak lightly guided Julian down so he was lying across Garak’s lap.

 

“Oh, I’m sure she would.” Garak seemed to almost shiver at the idea. “And if you attacked her cooking the way you scarf down every other meal, she’d probably ask for your hand in marriage.” Garak began stroking Julian’s hair.

 

“Mm,” Julian leaned in to the touch fondly, “tell her I’m taken.”

 

“Don’t worry.” Garak soothed. “She’ll have to fight me for you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this one up before the reset or whatever that AO3 is doing tonight so enjoy this baby early! 
> 
> More to come! Comments and kudos please, my friends!


	11. Orchard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian is shaken by a dream he has

“Bashir to Garak!” Julian scrambled for his communicator on the nightstand before hearing footsteps coming from the common room.

 

“Garak here.” Garak walked in with a concerned smile. “I’m sorry, my dear, you’d dozed off and I didn’t want to wake you while I read.” Julian let out a sigh of relief, but continued to breathe heavily.

 

“Oh, yes, of course.” He smiled as he tried to wake himself up a bit more. “Sorry, I wasn’t really awake.”

 

“Are you alright?” Garak said with a head tilt.

 

“Fine, fine.” He waved a tired hand. “Just a weird dream, that’s all.”

 

“Was it ‘weird’ or ‘frightening’?” Garak asked, knowing all too well that there was an important difference. Julian sat up and shook his head while Garak moved to sit down beside him.

 

“It was like a memory with a different ending.” He sighed warily and let Garak stroke his back slowly. “Just something I was thinking about with my parents around.”

 

“And this new ending was disturbing?” Garak led while he placed a gentle hand on top of Julian’s.

 

“More _frustrating_ than anything.” Julian laughed at himself. “I got in trouble with my father once when I was about sixteen and he had me locked in my room.”

 

“Go on…” Garak nodded.

 

“Well, I was able to override the lock on the window easily enough and get out.” Julian shrugged. “My dad never even found out I was gone.”

 

“But in the dream?” Garak asked. Julian sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

 

“In the dream, well…” He clicked his tongue and furrowed his brow. “You can’t read when you’re asleep. If you look at a piece of text in a dream, it won’t be coherent. Humanoids don’t have the correct brain functions active when we’re unconscious.”

 

“I see…” Garak pressed, clearly wondering where this was going. Julian gave him a small self-deprecating smile.

 

“I couldn’t read the coding, so I couldn’t override the lock.” He let out another sigh. “I was stuck in my room just staring at a jumbled mess of code that was too fuzzy to make out.” He laughed. “I guess even in my sleep I’m too stubborn to just give up.”

 

“That must have been very distressing.” Garak moved his hand to Julian’s shoulder. “Your own mind was denying you a taste of freedom you’d needed when you were young.” Julian cast him a bemused glance.

 

“You make it sound so critical.” He scoffed. “It probably would have been better off for me to just cool down in my room anyway. It’s not like I was being tortured.” Julian shook his head. “I got myself into a lot of trouble that night.” He sighed. “There was this orchard not too far from where we were living at the time, and I reasoned that one or two apples wouldn’t be missed. Then, of course, I got it into my immature brain that they wouldn’t miss some of the hard cider they made so I snuck in and stole a case.”

 

“What a little rogue you were!” Garak smiled, obviously exaggerating his surprise.

 

“Well, I’m sorry we can’t all have been Obsidian Order agents in our past.” Julian said, rolling his eyes. “The point is, I stole and didn’t seem to have any issue downing this whole case of cider by myself late at night. I was sitting on the beach at that point and my drunk teenage-self figured that if I’m really an augment, I could probably swim out and keep swimming until I found another shore.”

 

“That…” Garak paused. “Would be an ill-advised theory to test.” Julian shrugged.

 

“Maybe I knew that, I don’t know.” He leaned onto Garak’s shoulder. “The point is, I hate the way my dad acts like he knows better than me and yet my response always seems to be to prove him right by doing something stupid!” Julian let out an aggravated exhale.

 

“I’m sorry.” Garak slowly removed his hand and began to move before Julian stopped him.

 

“No, no, no!” Julian put his hands firmly on Garak’s shoulders, keeping him in place. “If you’re thinking for one minute that what happened in the infirmary was something I consider stupid…” Julian shook his head. “No, Garak, I told you, I’ve loved you for a long time.”

 

“You do have a lot that you’re dealing with though.” Garak reminded. “I understand that you’re confused.” Julian rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated groan as he pushed Garak backward onto the bed.

 

“You are _not_ about to undo all this progress we’ve finally made!” Julian shook his head from on top of Garak. “I will admit that it was impulsive earlier and there are elements I regret, but I don’t regret _you._ ”

 

“But you _do_ have regrets.” Garak sighed.

 

“Because it was our _first time_ , Garak!” Julian sighed. “And we weren’t able to take our time or just let ourselves go.” He let out a small chuckle. “Though it _was_ very hot, I must say.”

 

“You’re saying that you regret it not being more…” Garak tried to find the word, but surprisingly, words were failing him.

 

“Romantic?” Julian smirked.

 

“I suppose.”

 

“Yes, exactly!” Julian smiled before relaxing his grip and lying on Garak’s chest. “I regret that we didn’t get to just lie here and marvel at how long we’ve been waiting.” He pressed a kiss to Garak’s lips. “I regret that I didn’t get to make little comments about how your anatomy surprised me, to which you would undoubtedly respond with a criticism of how we humans are set up.”

 

“You _do_ seem overly exposed.” Garak smiled and Julian chuckled.

 

“I regret not being able to shout out that I love you.” Julian stroked Garak’s slicked back hair. “But I hardly regret the thorough fucking we had.” He scoffed. “I mean, I’m honestly very pleased with it still. I just don’t want you to think just being with you isn’t enough. It doesn’t need to be some fast and crazed act with me, I like you in any way.”

 

“You’re a disgusting romantic.” Garak sighed. “And you’re a thief.”

 

“Some apples and cider!” Julian protested.

 

“I’m not talking about the great orchard robbery.” Garak said, shaking his head. “I’m talking about my heart.” Julian looked at him before bursting into laughter.

 

“That was _bad_ , Elim!” Julian put a hand over his face as he cringed about the overly cheesy line.

 

“ _I’m_ the bad one, my dear?” Garak smirked. “I believe you’re the one who steals apples.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Memory nightmares are easily the worst and I have had them frequently (not much anymore, thank God) and I really think they would be the type of thing to mess with Julian more. Garak reads more into dreams as having great meaning, whereas Julian can more easily disregard the impossible stuff.


	12. Romantic Bits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak and Julian spend the morning together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff central ahead!

 

“Doctor.” Garak said softly to try and awaken the man he was now holding in his arms. Julian groaned and buried his face further into Garak’s chest. “Julian, really.”

 

“ _What?_ ” He whined as he opened his bleary eyes.

 

“Don’t you have to go to work?” Julian rolled his eyes.

 

“No, I don’t actually.” He turned over so his back was to Garak. “I only have an evening shift today.” Julian exhaled, clearly trying to go back to sleep.

 

“I see…” Garak paused. “I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have woken you if I’d known.” Julian rolled over again and cast a suspicious glance.

 

“You _did_ know, didn’t you?” Julian shook his head with a laugh. “Or maybe you really didn’t? It’s weird to see you making a mistake.”

 

“I’m sorry to destroy the illusion of perfection.” Garak smiled. Julian sighed and sat up, obviously resolved to the fact that he was going to be awake for a bit.

 

“I’m sorry too.” Julian chuckled. “I’m sure this is a horrid sight.” He moved his hand up and down quickly to motion to himself.

 

“Hardly.” Garak assured. He stared at the man’s thin figure, the bronze skin that looked so soft and unassuming. “You’re a vision in the morning.”

 

“Oh?” Julian gave a proud smile and puffed up his chest. “Care to tell me more?” _Praise me more_ , _I enjoy it,_ the Changeling had said, _Go on_. Garak shuddered. It wasn’t the same thing. Not really, but it was close enough to remind him. Julian sighed. “How is it that your hair is still perfectly in place?” Julian laughed and brought his hand to run his fingers through Garak’s black hair. “You’re infuriatingly composed.”

 

“One of us has to be.” Garak chuckled. “Is human hair supposed to do…” He glanced at the disarray on top of Julian’s head. “Whatever it is that yours is doing?” The Changeling’s hadn’t done that. It hadn’t been as stiffly in place as Garak’s, but this was an absolute mess.

 

“Yes, it most certainly is.” Julian huffed in mock offense. “Most of this is your fault anyway.”

 

“How so?”

 

“You were playing with it before we fell asleep.” Julian reminded. Garak smiled fondly at the memory.

 

“It’s quite soft.” He said in defense. “Most of the fauna on Cardassia are hairless.”

 

“So that makes me exotic.” Julian grinned before moving to straddle Garak.

 

“Really, my dear,” Garak said, shaking his head, “it’s not as if I’ve pursued every furry thing to cross my path.” Julian laughed.

 

“’Furry’ is not a way I have ever been described as before.” He shook his head. “Most human males have more body hair than me.”

 

“Only the males?” Garak said in surprise.

 

“Females don’t really get chest hair.” Julian shrugged. “Arm and leg, sure. And of course there are exceptions, but generally they have less.”

 

“How interesting.” Garak nodded.

 

“Please tell me hair is not the only thing you’re interested in at the moment.” Julian smirked and moved his hands to slowly massage Garak’s shoulders. Garak shivered and sighed.

 

“I thought, as a doctor, you’d be pleased to see me showing interest in anatomy.” Julian grinned and rolled his eyes.

 

“Honestly, Garak…” Julian stopped himself before biting his lip with an excited smile, “Honestly, _Elim_ …” Again, that obvious glee Julian showed when using Garak’s first name. Garak was sure his given name had never sounded so lovely. “What am I going to do with you?”

 

“Mm,” Garak breathed. “What _are_ you going to do with me?” He raised an eye ridge suggestively. Julian then had a mischievous smile and rolled off of Garak, lay beside him, and interlaced their fingers.

 

“I love you, Elim.” Julian sighed before planting a lazy kiss. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for that.”

 

“For what exactly?” Garak asked, confused.

 

“Our first time.” Julian smirked. “Which was hot, perfect, and beautiful.”

 

“But now you want to go through the romantic bits we rushed through?” Julian nodded happily. “What a charming idea.”

 

“The retractable genitalia was a surprise.” Julian smirked. “A fascinating one at that. Though I must say the lubricant was my favorite part.”

 

“It wouldn’t exactly be pleasant retracting and everting without it.” Garak pointed out. “Not to mention it’s highly convenient.”

 

“I’ll say.” Julian chuckled. “I like playing with your ridges, by the way.”

 

“I noticed.” Garak smiled. “Are there any places on you I should focus more attention towards?”

 

“The neck isn’t a bad place to start, honestly.” Julian thought. “Though it’s definitely not nearly as sensitive as yours. Just a nice sensation.” He blushed. “I like biting.”

 

“Giving or receiving?” Garak chuckled at how shy Julian suddenly got.

 

“Receiving mostly.” Julian’s face somehow got redder. “Though I am certainly happy to bite back.”

 

“I look forward to it.” Garak brought their enjoined hands to his lips so he could kiss Julian’s wrist. “The giving and the receiving.”

 

“Have you ever…” Julian bit his lip, “fantasized about this?” Julian moved closer. “I know I have.”

 

“I didn’t think it was realistic.” Garak sighed. “And, seeing how I’m a glutton for self-punishment, yes, I thought about this often.” Julian laughed.

 

“In my imagination, I was always more confident and suave.” Julian was again stroking Garak’s hair and looking deep into his eyes. “I’d catch you off guard with some witty flirtation, only for you to smile knowingly once you understood and we’d fall into bed together.” Garak smirked.

 

“Of course you would fancy yourself doing all this in a tuxedo as well?” Julian gave Garak a playful swat.

 

“Don’t tease me and just tell me what you imagined this being like!”

 

“Well…” Garak paused, trying to find a thought that wasn’t _too_ embarrassing. He decided the fantasy where Julian was secretly working for Tain and not only fell in love with him, but allowed him to go back to Cardassia was a bit bizarre. “Sometimes I thought about what if we had the whole station to ourselves?”

 

“So we could act like a couple of voles in heat right on the promenade?” Julian scoffed.

 

“Not at all.” Garak shook his head. “With no one else around, we would begin spending more time together and… eventually, you would come to see me as something more.” Julian furrowed his brow.

 

“Because you’d be the only other person in the universe?” Garak nodded. “Oh, Elim, as far as I’m concerned, you’re already the only other person in the universe for me.” Garak blinked in surprise.

 

“No wonder you were so insistent on us revisiting this missed part of our first experience.” Garak tried to tone down his excitement at Julian’s again professed love. “You’re quite good at it.”

 

“It’s easy to say ‘I love you’ when it’s the truth.” Julian smiled.

 

“And it’s easy to tell the truth when I love you.” Garak returned the smile and planted another kiss on Julian’s lips. “I love you,” he sighed, “and that’s the truth.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I know, suuuuuper sappy! But like... lowkey I feel like they needed to just have this fluffy conversation to help this all feel real for them.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> ALSO: Shoutout to my amazing as always beta reader NoOneKnowsIWriteThis for getting back to me as quickly as I write and also just have the best ideas and feedback because she is an amazing writer as well! If you haven't read her fics, you're missing out, so go read 'em! :D


	13. Organic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard Bashir is mad that Julian would tell Garak about his augments, he decides to confront him in the infirmary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda short and sorry for the lateness of the post!

 

                Richard Bashir stormed into the infirmary and walked right up to the figure he thought was Julian.

 

“You and I need to have a word, Jules.” He said firmly. The hologram looked at him in confusion.

 

“My name’s Julian.” He said with a furrowed brow.

 

“You think I don’t know the name of my own son?” Richard pointed a finger. “You act like we did this horrid thing to you, that you’ve been changed terribly. Did you ever think for one second that the change was for the better?” The hologram made no response. “You think you know best because you’re so much smarter, but how do you think you got that way, hmm?” Still, no remark. “You’re not as clever as you think you are. That night you broke out of the house, you think we didn’t know? When your mother came into the room she said you were sopping wet and reeked of alcohol. Is that the kind of brilliant behavior you think makes you better than us?”

 

“I _am_ brilliant.” The hologram made with a small head tilt. He was being programmed to be like one of the most brilliant doctors in Starfleet, one should hope he’s brilliant.

 

“Oh, you’re smart, alright. But that doesn’t make you good.” Richard crossed his arms and seemed to be fuming. “She said you laughed at her that night when she asked where you’d been. _Laughing_ after whatever reckless thing you had been up to! Sounds like behavior suited for Khan Singh.” He grumbled.

 

“Khan Noonien Singh?” The hologram was trying to determine how laughter could possibly be connected to a man of such infamy. How reckless could the behavior really have been?

 

“Without your mother and me, you’d wind up just as bad as him!” Richard was raising his voice now. “You deserved every wallop you got, and if you used that augmented brain of yours, you’d realize that!”

 

“That’s enough!” Chief O’Brien came out from behind the wall he had been standing near and revealed his presence. “I don’t know where you get off thinking you can talk this way to Julian, but I’m here to tell you that you can’t.” Richard looked shocked but then straightened his posture.

 

“I’m his father.” He said, as if that gave him any real authority.

 

“I’m a father myself.” O’Brien challenged. “I have a daughter and a son and I would never demean them in the way you are now.” He shook his head. “You have a good son, sir. A _great_ son. I don’t know how he turned out to be such a wonderful man if you raised him, but maybe that’s why I couldn’t stand him at first?” O’Brien clicked his tongue. “Now you’re going to give your son an apology or leave the station.”

 

“Jules, who is this man?” Richard asked the hologram with irritation.

 

“Miles O’Brien, Chief of Operations here on DS9.” O’Brien answered. “And you’re lucky your son isn’t here to see this. He can believe that an apology comes from the goodness in your heart.” Richard gave a confused look. “This is the hologram we’ve been working on.” O’Brien motioned to the hologram with a small head nod.

 

“Did you _have_ to reveal that?” Dr. Zimmerman said as he also made himself known. “Now his interactions won’t be organic.”

 

“I don’t give a damn about organic interactions right now.” O’Brien said. “You heard the way he was talking to him.”

 

“Yes, yes, and you selflessly came to his rescue.” Zimmerman dismissed with a sigh. “Mr. Bashir, what was it about your son’s ‘augmented brain’ you were saying?”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Richard Bashir said quickly.

 

“You’re not even going to own up to your own insults?” O’Brien turned up his nose in disgust. “I’ve never known a man who would compare his own child to Khan Singh.” He shook his head. “Most parents would be proud to have a child grow to be even smarter than themselves, but instead you act as if he’s a genetically altered freak? I’m not sticking around for this.” As O’Brien left the infirmary, he purposefully banged his shoulder against Richard’s, throwing him off balance.


	14. Unexpected Development

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles talks to Garak about what to do next

 

 

“Ah, Chief!” Garak said with his patented eager to please smile. Amsha Bashir, who had just come in to timidly make sure again that Garak wouldn’t tell anyone about Julian’s augments, turned in surprise. “What can I do for you?”

 

“Have you seen Julian?” He asked. “It’s nothing urgent, I’m just wondering where he is. I didn’t want to hail him if he’s sleeping or something.”

 

“A very kind and good instinct.” Garak nodded. “I believe he is resting in his quarters at the moment.” O’Brien nodded. “May I present, by the way, Amsha Bashir? The good doctor’s mother.”

 

“I see…” O’Brien looked her over carefully before holding out his hand. “Chief Miles O’Brien, I just met your husband.”

 

“Richard was looking for Jules as well.” She smiled before shaking his hand. “Are you a friend of his?”

 

“I love your son, he’s my best friend.” O’Brien said firmly. Garak studied the man’s demeanor, he was certainly being a bit protective of Julian. Normally the Chief would simple say that Julian was a “good friend” or something to that affect. It wasn’t often that he openly admitted his fondness for the doctor. Garak worried that maybe O’Brien had just heard from Richard Bashir about his and Julian’s new relationship and was about to assert himself as someone who knew best and was going to try and dissuade the whole thing. It was true that Julian loved Garak, but that was also true for O’Brien so making him choose could be disastrous. “He’s a good doctor and a great man.”

 

“That’s so kind of you to say.” Amsha smiled. “He’s a good boy, I’m happy he’s found so many people who care about him.” She glanced between Garak and Miles before looking nervous. “Where did you see my husband, Chief? I should really be getting back to him.”

 

“I just left him in the infirmary with Dr. Zimmerman.” Amsha nodded and gave Garak a small smile before leaving.

 

“A charming woman.” Garak said.

 

“Julian must take after _her_.” O’Brien grunted.

 

“I see you weren’t impressed with Richard Bashir.” Garak wondered how that meeting had gone.

 

“Have you met him?” O’Brien asked.

 

“Unfortunately.” Garak sighed. O’Brien scoffed out a cynical laugh.

 

“You know, Julian once told me that he essentially doesn’t ever want a family.” O’Brien sighed and crossed his arms. “I suppose if I’d grown up around that, I might not want one either.”

 

“Bad parenting makes for a bad environment.” Garak said, speaking from first-hand experience. “Dr. Bashir deserves much better.”

 

“Garak…” O’Brien shifted and studied the tailor. “You _do_ really love him, don’t you?” His eyes were filled with concern. “Before, I worried you might just want to ease some of the hurt he’s been dealing with lately.” Garak began to say something but O’Brien put up a hand to stop him. “I’m not saying I think you definitely are, I’m just saying that I can’t help but picture the possibility.” Garak nodded and O’Brien continued. “But after meeting his father, I can’t stand to see him give so much love to another shallow connection.” He looked at Garak sternly. “So I’m only going to ask you this once, and if you lie, know that I _will_ find out and there _will_ be hell to pay.” He took a step forward, as if ready to punch Garak in the jaw. “Are you truly in love with Julian?”

 

“Yes.” Garak said with all seriousness. “I’m in love with him, Chief.” O’Brien studied his face with a furrowed brow before nodding.

 

“Good.” Garak expected the man to smile or something, but instead his face somehow grew even grimmer. “Then I’m going to need your help.”

 

“Oh?” This was an unexpected development.

 

“His father said something about Julian’s ‘augmented brain’ to the hologram.” Garak froze. “So it’s true?” Garak didn’t move a muscle, worried he’d betray his lover’s secret. “I see.” O’Brien shook his head. “Then we have a problem. I may have covered it up as an insult from a petty and small man, but Dr. Zimmerman heard it too and he’ll dig for any excuse to claim Julian and the LMH are ill-suited for each other.”

 

“How damning were Mr. Bashir’s words?” Garak asked. O’Brien sighed.

 

“Not particularly.” He gritted his teeth. “Though the bastard compared Julian to Khan Noonien Singh.”

 

“What are you planning to do?” Garak was intrigued by the Chief’s willingness to bend Starfleet rules for his friend.

 

“I’m going to prep Julian’s parents on their answers for later today.” O’Brien nodded. “Dr. Zimmerman and I go over the questions together before he finalize the interview list.” O’Brien bit his lip and looked at Garak. “I’m afraid you’re going to have the difficult job.”

 

“Anything for Julian.” Garak said, knowing the gravity of the situation. He was not going to let Starfleet imprison the love of his life.

 

“I need you to find any evidence you can on what happened to him.” O’Brien said quickly, clearly in a command mode of giving out assignments. “Destroy it or alter it so it looks innocent. It just has to be hidden well enough to keep Zimmerman from looking too far into it.” Garak nodded in understanding. “One of us should probably tell Julian.”

 

“I’ll have to talk to him anyway to ask him where to start looking for any records.” Garak offered. “Though there’s no telling how he’ll react to this news.”

 

“Don’t let him turn himself in.” O’Brien said immediately. “That’s exactly the type of thing he’d do but it’s not worth it.”

 

“Agreed.” The two men nodded at each other and headed out to move forward on their new duties.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably won't post tomorrow, life is getting a wee bit hectic so idk when I'll have time to write. I will endeavor to update frequently still!


	15. On My Behalf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian wakes up from his sleep for Garak to ask him a question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, all! Look who's back! Hopefully, I'll get back to posting daily, but I don't want to promise anything. This fic is particularly difficult for me to write for some reason, plus so much is happening in my life. But I'm not dead and I will not leave this unfinished!

 

“Doctor?” Julian was confused for a moment, it seemed as if the voice echoed throughout the infirmary without having a body. That was, until he opened his eyes and realized he’d been dreaming and was actually in his bed this whole time.

 

“Garak!” Julian shot up quickly, wondering what involved mission the Cardassian had planned for them now before remembering that their relationship had changed. He chuckled at himself.

 

“Did I startle you?” Garak said, concerned.

 

“Do you remember the first time you broke into my quarters?” Julian smiled. “When we went to Bajor to find information on Rugal?”

 

“You’re assuming that’s the first time I broke in.” Garak smirked. Julian narrowed his eyes and tried to read Garak’s face. “Only joking, doctor. I can’t imagine why I would want to enter without your knowledge.”

 

“So, no watching me sleep?” Julian scoffed. Garak looked scandalized.

 

“ _Why_ would I do that?” Julian shrugged. “Do you _want_ me to watch you sleep? That seems rather unsettling.”

 

“Exactly,” Julian laughed, “unsettling and creepy is right up your alley!” Julian leaned in so he could press a light kiss to Garak’s cheek. “Or at least that’s what you lead so many people to believe. You’re really just a chivalrous romantic, aren’t you?”

 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Garak scoffed.

 

“You fancy yourself my knight in shining armor?” Julian smirked. “Are you going to fight all my battles and defend my honor, noble sir?” Julian stretched with a smile before noticing Garak’s face turn thoughtful. “What?”

 

“There’s one battle I’d like to fight,” Garak sighed, “if you permit me.” Julian was puzzled.

 

“On my behalf?” Garak nodded. Julian then rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Elim, look, I’ve been dealing with my parents all my life. You don’t need to try and fix our relationship. I’m fine, I just don’t like them on the station, that’s all.”

 

“I have no intention of meddling in your familial affairs.” Garak assured. “I’m actually more worried about Dr. Zimmerman.”

 

“Dr. Zimmerman?” Julian said, surprised.

 

“He’ll try to find any reason at all to keep you from being the model for the LMH.” Garak explained. “Therefore, he could do some digging and find out what your parents did to you. I would like to take a preemptive strike. Find any evidence I can and keep it far away from anywhere he might get to it.” Julian blinked in surprise.

 

“You don’t actually think Dr. Zimmerman would be so petty as to actively pursue any sort of…” Julian furrowed his brow, trying to think of what to say, “Witch hunt against my character!”

 

“Chief O’Brien believes he could.” Julian’s eyes widened in shock.

 

“Elim…” He said warily. “You didn’t _tell_ Miles, did you?” His heart was racing. Even if Miles _could_ forgive him for lying to him all these years, he would be duty-bound to report him. Julian couldn’t ask his best friend to jeopardize his career for him.

 

“Not at all, my dear.” Garak placed a soothing hand on Julian’s shoulder. “He met your father and did not like him. That’s all.” Julian laughed a bit at that.

 

“So how did that give you the impression that Miles thinks Zimmerman would try and undermine my involvement in the project?” Julian was beginning to suspect that Garak was just paranoid.

 

“He expressed his concern that the interview with your parents tonight might not go well.” Garak smiled. “He ultimately decided that he’s going to prep your parents ahead of time, so that they don’t say or do anything to embarrass you.”

 

“Good lord!” Julian barked out a laugh. “How badly did the meeting between Miles and my father go?”

 

“I didn’t get any details.” Garak shook his head. “The good Chief specifically said that he was sure Dr. Zimmerman would like to find anything to discredit you.” He shrugged. “It seems prudent to make sure the obvious secret isn’t obvious to anyone else.” Julian thought for a moment. It _did_ make sense, but it was relatively surreal for Julian to actually be talking about his enhancements at all. Even odder, this was someone offering to bury the secret even deeper than it already was. Someone who actually _could_ do a good job of hiding it.

 

“You _really_ think this is worth it?” Julian asked. Garak nodded. “Alright, it can’t hurt, I suppose.” Julian sighed. “What do you need from me?”

 

“Any proper nouns that I can use to begin my quest for information?” Garak suggested. “I know you told me that you weren’t really aware of it all at the time, but anything can help.”

 

“Adigeon Prime.” Julian breathed, the name held so much meaning to him, so much hurt. “Elim?” He said quickly once Garak stood up from the bed and began to walk away.

 

“Yes, my dear?”

 

“You’d tell me if I were actually in any real danger, wouldn’t you?” This all seemed so sudden. Had something more than a bad introduction between his father and Miles set it off? Or had Garak and his Obsidian Order training been thinking about this from the moment Julian told him his secret in the camp?

 

“I’ll do better than that.” Garak smiled confidently. “I’ll make sure to forever keep you out of harm’s way.” He gave a slight bow before exiting the room. Julian felt an odd way. He felt as though he should find Garak’s actions charming, and yet, he couldn’t help but find them ominous and foreboding.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Comments? Kudos? Questions? Concerns? 
> 
> ^idk, always saying "comments and kudos/hope you enjoyed" was getting redundant


	16. Trying to Protect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian makes his apologies to Miles about his father, and Jadzia insists on hearing the latest station gossip.

 

“Miles!” Julian called to the Chief when he saw him walking on the promenade. O’Brien stopped and smiled. “Garak told me what happened.” He shook his head sadly. “I’m sorry for whatever he said to you. Normally he acts like a people pleaser but he’s insecure and well…” Julian tried to find the words to apologize for someone he didn’t really feel deserved forgiveness, “I’m just sorry you had to deal with him.” O’Brien furrowed his brow.

 

“I’m fine, Julian.” He studied Julian’s face. “What exactly did Garak tell you?” Now Julian was sure something was up.

 

“What should he have told me?” Julian narrowed his eyes suspiciously but O’Brien simply nodded with a smile.

 

“I just didn’t like the man, Julian.” Miles laughed. “You don’t have to be so dramatic.”

 

“Oh.” Julian blinked.

 

“I’m a little surprised Garak even mentioned it.” He chuckled. “I was just a little miffed by him is all.”

 

“Yes, well,” Julian laughed awkwardly, “Garak didn’t get along with him much either.” He sighed, feeling as if he’d made a mountain out of a molehill. “But if he was particularly rude to you, that probably just means he’s intimidated by you.” He gave a half-hearted shrug, hoping that was some sort of consolation prize.

 

“Julian, like I said,” Miles smiled, shaking his head, “I’m fine. I would be more concerned that you’d be angry at me for not liking your father.”

 

“You forget,” Julian said, crossing his arms sadly, “I’ve known him all my life.”

 

“Want to join me at Quark’s for a pint?” Miles asked and pointed toward the bar with his thumb.

 

“Unfortunately I have my shift in an hour, so I’ll have to stick to synthale.” Julian studied Miles’ face, wondering if that would cancel the offer. It was possible that Miles really didn’t have that much time to spare, but he was hoping a night of drinking would allow Julian to deal with some childhood issues.

 

“Good!” Miles laughed and smacked Julian on the back before heading to Quark’s. “Then you can keep me from making a fool of myself in public!”

 

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that.” Julian smirked as they entered the bar. “I might also just get some blackmail on you.”

 

“You liar!” The two men turned and saw the source of the voice. There was Jadzia Dax shaking her head with a wry grin. “You said you would talk to me, and yet this is the first I’ve seen you since stopping by the infirmary yesterday!”

 

“I’m sorry, Jadzia!” Julian smacked a hand against his forehead. “It completely slipped my mind!” There was no formal invitation made for Dax to join Miles and Julian at a table, it was just implied that the three friends would sit together. Miles got three drinks and Julian pulled out a seat for Jadzia which she playfully took. Julian had found himself real connections with his coworkers, they were now his friends that he didn’t have to awkwardly ask to tagalong with. This was exactly what he was trying to protect by keeping his secret safe. How could they ever trust him again if they knew he’d been lying this whole time?

 

“So,” She grinned once the three were sitting down and each had a drink in hand, “I heard that you’re with Garak now.” Julian blushed and nodded.

 

“Yes, well,” he chuckled, “it’s been a long time coming.”

 

“For him, absolutely!” She said, nodding her head vigorously. “I’m just glad he finally asked you out.”

 

“Julian asked Garak out, I believe.” Miles chimed in like a proud father and Jadzia’s smile only grew wider.

 

“Even better!” She said before taking a drink. “Don’t you dare break his heart, Julian.”

 

“Mm,” O’Brien agreed with a solemn nod, “that Cardassian is absolutely crazy about you.” Julian gave O’Brien a suspicious glance.

 

“Hang on, when did _you_ get on board with this relationship?” Julian smiled.

 

“I talked to Garak.” Miles shrugged. “If he’d gotten any sappier about you, I would have thought he was Irish.” Julian barked out a laugh.

 

“ _Please_ tell me he started quoting poetry at you!” Jadzia giggled.

 

“Nothing so bad.” Miles shook his head. “But I know the eyes of a man in love.” Julian looked at Miles, but then glanced back at Jadzia with a smirk.

 

“Aw, the Chief’s a big softie.” Julian grinned.

 

“Says the man who has already confessed love to someone he’s _just_ started dating.” O’Brien said, rolling his eyes.

 

“Have you slept together yet?” Jadzia asked. Julian choked on his synthale. “Oh, please, don’t be such a prude.” She scoffed at his reaction.

 

“Miles does _not_ want to hear about that.” Julian quickly said.

 

“So you haven’t had sex yet?” O’Brien said, surprised. “I figured it happened in the camp.” Jadzia laughed.

 

“No and no!” Julian shook his head. “Honestly, you’re both just trying to irritate me.” He then smirked. “It won’t work though. I have been having wonderful sex, so nothing can bring me down.” Now the other two were choking on their drinks. “Serves you right.”

 

“Is that what you two were doing in your office?” Jadzia whispered excitedly. Julian froze. “Honestly, Julian. When you said you were busy I decided I would go get information from Garak and when the computer said he was in there as well…” She raised a perfect eyebrow and let her sentence fall off there.

 

“On Starfleet property.” Miles shook his head in disapproval. “Now _that’s_ just disrespectful.”

 

“You make it sound like we did it in a Jeffries Tube!” Julian was bright red now.

 

“I thank you for _not_ doing that.” Miles lifted his glass in a grateful motion. “I caught a Nausicaan couple in one once. There are things I will never be able to forget.” The Chief shuddered and took a long drink.

 

“Nausicaan genitalia is barbed.” Julian nodded. “And the males won’t hesitate to use their penis as a weapon if someone tries to interrupt them.”

 

“Good thing I just called Odo.” O’Brien said. “But dare I ask _why_ you know this?”

 

“I’m a _doctor_ , Miles.” Julian grumbled. “Also…” He shook his head and inhaled deeply. “Nausicaans can be a bit of exhibitionists. They volunteered _constantly_ to be looked at by Medical students.”

 

“I can only picture a Nausicaan inflicting or receiving wounds, not seeking treatment for them.” Jadzia said thoughtfully.

 

“They refused to let us use dermal regenerators on them.” Julian nodded. “I actually messed up on one and ended up severing her tendon.” The truth was that Julian had done that purposefully, he needed to make sure he made a few rookie mistakes to seem more “normal” at Starfleet Medical and he figured a Nausicaan wouldn’t mind a little pain. “When I tried to fix it, she held me down to the biobed and attempted to ravish me.” That part of the story was completely true. Miles and Jadzia were both laughing happily and shouting out “oh no’s” as they tried to catch their breath. “Well, on that embarrassing note,” Julian stood up with a smile, “I really should be headed to the infirmary.”

 

“Oh?” Jadzia smiled. “Another rendezvous with Garak?”

 

“Very funny.” Julian said, shaking his head. “Please do _not_ spread that around. When I’m in the infirmary, I’m usually working.”

 

“Usually.” O’Brien parroted with a laugh. “Have a good shift, Julian.” He said sincerely. Julian waved goodbye to his friends and headed to work.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a plan for the ending of this and everything, just trying to find the words and time to write it! Enjoy, everybody!


	17. Lovely Motivator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> O'Brien asks Garak just what exactly he told Julian and also checks in on his progress.

 

                Garak was working through file after file on his backroom’s console when he heard his shop door chime.

 

“Enter!” He called as he made the screen go dark and emerged to the front. “Ah, Chief, back again so soon?”

 

“I just finished prepping the Bashirs.” O’Brien sighed, it had probably not been a fun experience. “Dr. Zimmerman is interviewing them now.”

 

“Do you believe we have anything to worry about?” Garak asked.

 

“Difficult to say.” O’Brien shrugged. “Richard Bashir doesn’t seem to know when to shut his trap, but I think threat of jail put the fear of God in him.”

 

“Fear is a lovely motivator.” Garak smiled. O’Brien then furrowed his brow.

 

“You lied to Julian.” The Chief looked uncomfortable by his own statement.

 

“There may have been small fabrications.” Garak conceded. “But I assure you, it was for his own protection.”

 

“That is one of the most damning sentiments a man can have.” O’Brien challenged. “You have to let a person decide for themselves whether or not they want to be protected.”

 

“Chief, in all due respect,” Garak sighed, “we both know that Julian would rather turn himself in and lose everything than accept our covering for him.” O’Brien nodded.

 

“I agree with you.” Garak’s face must have shown his shock since O’Brien scoffed out a laugh. “I know, I can hardly believe it myself. But I do think there are times to keep certain things a secret.”

 

“I must say,” Garak smiled, “you’ve been more understanding about my relationship with the good doctor than I would have thought.”

 

“What kind of friend would ask a man to choose between them and the person they love?” O’Brien shrugged. “And besides, he’s a grown man, he can take care of himself.”

 

“But you don’t trust him to do so, therefore we keep it all a secret?” Garak asked, intrigued.

 

“No, the issue is that we trust him to always do the right thing.” O’Brien shrugged. “But ‘the right thing’ in this case will get him canned and committed.” Garak felt that was stretching things a bit in order to make the Chief feel as though he wasn’t compromising his morals, but it was best not to push it. “What progress have you made?”

 

“On the bright side, the doctor who performed his operation was already dead.” O’Brien raised his eyebrows skeptically. “Believe me that is positive, how else do we ensure he doesn’t talk?” O’Brien clearly tried to ignore that and sighed.

 

“Anything else?”

 

“All files I can find have been deleted, so I doubt Dr. Zimmerman will be able to discover anything without confirmation from the Bashirs themselves.” Garak smiled, pleased with his work. “But it does worry me that the facility where it all took place seems to be run by the Orion Syndicate.” O’Brien’s eyes widened.

 

“The Orion Syndicate?” He gasped before shaking his head. “I suppose that shouldn’t surprise me. What _don’t_ the Orions have their hands in?”

 

“Very little, I imagine.” Garak agreed. “But, as I was saying, the doctor should indeed be safe for now, but I’m going to keep digging just to be sure.” He gave a bright smile. “Also, I changed the date in all memory banks of when Starfleet raided the Adigeon Prime enhancement headquarters, so it will appear the Bashirs only visited after they had moved locations.” O’Brien nodded.

 

“As long as no one who was there realizes the difference.” He said cautiously.

 

“Well, no cover-up job can be perfect.” Garak sighed. “But I will endeavor to make this one so.” He gave a slight bow.

 

“Don’t go further in than you have to, Garak.” O’Brien warned. “The Orions won’t like you poking around if they find out.”

 

“Showing concern for my safety, Chief?” Garak laughed. “This is new.”

 

“Not only would Julian be devastated to lose you,” O’Brien explained, “he’d have my head if he ever found out I gave you this assignment.”

 

“So your worry is simply stemmed from the belief that Julian will kill you if I get hurt?” Garak smiled. That was oddly romantic.

 

“Like you said,” O’Brien smirked, “fear is a lovely motivator.” O’Brien began to leave before turning back to Garak with a smile. “Julian is on shift in the infirmary at the moment.”

 

“I see,” Garak nodded, not really sure what he was meant to do with that information. “Well, perhaps I’ll drop in to say ‘hello’ while he’s there.”

 

“Just stay out of the Jeffries Tubes.” O’Brien laughed to himself and then left. Garak wondered why he, a claustrophobe, would ever have any desire to go into a Jeffries Tube.

 


	18. Confront

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jadzia learns some information from Quark over a game of Tongo.

 

“Confront.” Jadzia said sternly, not revealing any clues as to what she held in her hand on her face. “And, I raise five strips.” She smirked as the circle grew smaller, not all the Ferengi were willing to risk that much.

 

“Feeling confident tonight, aren’t we, Lieutenant?” Quark asked while licking his teeth.

 

“You only get to talk if you stay in the game.” She challenged, causing him to smile and place the five strips into the bowl. “Alright, talk.”

 

“You command that as if I have something to say.” Quark gave that nonchalant shrug of his that was so forced you _knew_ he was dying to reveal some juicy secret.

 

“A silly assumption of me.” She sighed. “As if you actually could tell me something I don’t know.” She looked back at her Tongo cards and shook her head as if she were greatly disappointed in the bartender.

 

“It has to do with Garak.” Quark smiled as he took his new cards.

 

“He’s dating Julian now, I know.” She gave him a bemused side-eye. “You need to keep your lobes closer to the ground if you think _that_ would be news to me.”

 

“Give that advice to the doctor.” Quark said, undeterred. “Garak’s been doing some spring-cleaning of past affairs.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You know nothing in this life is free, Commander.” Quark scoffed. “Confront.” Jadzia sighed, realizing what was going on. She placed her cards down on the table facing down.

 

“I fold.” She rolled her eyes as he took the pot. “Now, what ‘spring-cleaning’ has Garak been doing?”

 

“Something happened at least a decade ago.” Quark shook his head. “Something not very nice.”

 

“If you expect me to be surprised that Garak has a disreputable past, I’m never going to let you win a game of Tongo again.” She grumbled.

 

“Did you know he had dealings with the Orion Syndicate?” He asked smugly. Jadzia did not know that, nor did she find it all that believable, but she played along.

 

“I’m not shocked.” She shrugged. “You’re going to have to do more than that. Besides, we’ve all decided to forgive what he used to do. Knowing the details doesn’t change that.”

 

“Don’t you understand, though?” Quark pressed. “You can’t have only worked with the Orions in the past! You either stay with them or die!”

 

“You expect me to believe that Garak is currently working with the Orion Syndicate?” She laughed at the very concept. “Quark, honestly, I don’t see it.”

 

“They have something on him, I’m sure of it.” He’d gotten his payment in latinum, but Jadzia knew it was validation from her that he’d done good work that he was after. “He’s been rearranging and erasing files that have to do with some of their past dealings.”

 

“And how did you acquire this information?” Quark leaned back in his seat with a confident grin.

 

“That’s my business.” He steepled his fingers and pretended to lose interest in the conversation. “But how much do you think Garak will pay to keep me from telling the doctor?” Jadzia got up abruptly, feeling her blood run cold.

 

“I wouldn’t blackmail Garak if I were you.” She warned. “He still has a valid contract for assassinating you that he hasn’t acted on. And even if he didn’t, I’m sure he could think of something.” She walked away from the table, causing the Ferengi she left behind to chatter.

 

“Don’t you want to play another round?” Quark called.

 

“The game you’re thinking about playing is a little too dangerous for me.” She said, making sure her words rattled Quark down to his very core, before she finally left.

 

                Jadzia had planned to go to Garak’s or Bashir’s quarters, but when she saw the lights on in Garak’s shop, she knew that that would be her destination.

 

“Ah, Commander!” Garak greeted the moment she walked in. “I’m working late, though I’m not exactly open. Still…” He paused, looking her up and down with a happy smile. “I’m happy to help you with whatever you need.”

 

“You’re protecting Julian from something.” She said firmly, using all of her height and make sure her eyes never wavered. “Tell me what it is so I can help.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, kudos, and whatever else you feel like leaving behind if you enjoyed! (which I hope you did!)


	19. Incentives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian has prepared something special for Garak now that his parents and Dr. Zimmerman have left.

 

“Dr. Zimmerman’s left and the LMH project is underway with no complications.” Julian announced happily as he entered Garak’s shop. “Even better, my parents are gone.” He leaned over the counter and kissed Garak smugly.

 

“I feel like you’re expecting something.” Garak smirked in response.

 

“Well, I have an attractive boyfriend…” Julian leaned more onto the counter now and looked away, pretending to be more interested in some fabric scraps there. “And my parents aren’t around. What’s the logical next step?”

 

“And what if your ‘attractive boyfriend,’ whoever that may be,” Garak said, shaking his head, “is not done with his work for the day?”

 

“Then he’s a liar.” Julian said brightly and straightened up. “You’ve hardly had any work since the war began and you already put your tools away.”

 

“True,” Garak nodded. “But I _am_ a known liar.” Garak pointed out with a wag of his finger.

 

“In that case, I might as well take on an extra shift.” Julian shrugged nonchalantly and turned to leave.

 

“You’re expecting me to give up my lie just to call your bluff?” Garak scoffed. “Don’t you think you should give me a bit more incentive?”

 

“You only get _incentives_ if you come with me to my quarters.” Julian countered as he turned around with a grin. “I’m sorry, but that’s the deal.” He said, crossing his arms.

 

“You drive a hard bargain.” Garak sighed in mock defeat. “You’d make an excellent Ferengi.” Julian made a disgusted face.

 

“Do you actually know how to properly compliment a person or is it only insults with you?” He chuckled as Garak walked over to him.

 

“It’s an attempt to lower your self-esteem so you’ll fail to see how undeserving I am of you.” Garak explained as he put his hand palm to palm with Julian’s. “It’s the only way I see you staying with me.”

 

“See, now _that_ was complimentary.” Julian grinned. He then took Garak’s hand firmly so their fingers were interlaced. “And you’re going to walk across the promenade with me just like this.” Garak raised an eye ridge. “Most of the station already knows at this point, but I want you to know that I’m proud of it.”

 

“Anything for you, my dear.” Garak smiled as they left the shop hand in hand.

 

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Julian laughed while shaking his head.

 

“Now _you’re_ going to insult _me_?” Garak asked as they headed to the turbolift. There were a few glances, smiles from those who had probably already heard the news, and of course a few avoidances but that was to be expected and Garak was often avoided by those individuals anyway.

 

“If you continue to think of yourself as beneath me in any way, then you _must_ be an utter fool.” Julian gave a quick side eye. “Habitat ring.” He announced, the turbolift began to move in accordance to the command. “Since you’re fascinating, wonderful, and a delight to be around.”

 

“An unpopular opinion if there ever was one.” Garak smiled at Julian showing such open fondness for him. “But I’ll accept it since your opinion is the only one that matters.” Julian blushed.

 

“Nevermind,” he said, shaking his head, “you should go back to insulting me. I don’t have a witty comeback when you’re sincere.”

 

“Now that _is_ a tragedy.” Garak smirked as the doors opened and they stepped into the corridor. “Usually you’re so clever and I have to refrain from covering your mouth.”

 

“With your mouth, I hope.” Julian chuckled as he opened the door to his quarters. “Do you like it?”

 

                Garak looked in, confused, until he saw that there was a dinner laid out for two on a red tablecloth with a lit candle in the center. When he moved closer, he could smell the food and the candle, both very familiar.

 

“Cardassian beeswax?” Garak said in surprise while marveling at the flame. “Not to mention the spread you’ve provided.” Garak examined the food more closely and then froze. “Do you know the significance of this particular fungus?”

 

“Rehu Mushrooms?” Julian said, peering over Garak’s shoulder to make sure they were looking at the same thing. “They’re aphrodisiacs, right?” Julian gave a shy smile.

 

“That is correct.” Garak said slowly. “Where did you learn about them?”

 

“Illoja of Prim has a piece called—”

 

“ _The Beginning_ _of Us_ , yes, I know it.” A small smirk began to play on Garak’s face. “And what exactly do you think that poem is about?”

 

“It’s…” Julian began fearfully, searching his mind to see if he’d missed anything. “It’s about a couple that is just beginning their relationship. They share their first meal together,” Julian motioned to the dinner that he recreated, “and then retire to the bedroom.”

 

“Yes, that’s all correct.” Garak said, shaking his head. “But do you know _why_ they retire to the bedroom?’

 

“Oh, come on, Elim, really!” Julian huffed. “For sex!” He essentially shouted. “There, all euphemisms aside, this romantic dinner is meant to be a prelude to sex! Are you happy now?”

 

“Sex, yes.” Garak sighed. “But, specifically, for the purposes of starting a family.” Julian’s eyes widen.

 

“But!” Julian closed his eyes as if trying to restart his whole mind. “But the couple just _meets_ for the first time!”

 

“It’s called an arranged marriage, my dear.” Garak laughed. “Rehu Mushrooms are served as an aphrodisiac and stimulant of feminine fertility.” Garak glanced at the food with an amused look. “Are you attempting to get me pregnant?”

 

“That’s it!” Julian threw up his hands and turned away. “I’m never going to try to understand Cardassian culture ever again!” His shoulders drooped and he sighed until eventually he started chuckling. The chuckling grew louder and by the time he turned back to Garak, Julian was laughing hysterically. “I don’t suppose you have any interest in being the mother to my children, hmm?”

 

“I don’t think it’s biologically possible.” Garak smiled. “Though you’re the doctor.”

 

“Have I botched the whole evening?” Julian asked with a sigh.

 

“Oh no,” Garak said, waving a hand. “A romantic dinner and a night of passion is still very enticing.” Garak sat down at the table with the meal in front of him. “But I hope you won’t be disappointed if we don’t get any offspring out of it.”

 

“Don’t worry.” Julian scoffed before sitting across from Garak. “That’s fine with me.” He shook his head. “I’m afraid to be honest with my closest friends, it took a life or death experience to get me to be open with you. Do you really think I could handle a child?” Julian shook his head. “No one wants a freak for a father.”

 

“You are hardly a ‘freak’.” Garak scolded before taking a bite of his food. “And I doubt anyone you’re close to would ever think of you that way.”

 

“Right, right.” Julian said, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure my friends would _love_ to hear I’ve been lying to them all these years!” He gave a self-deprecating laugh. “No hard feelings or anything! Still value me as the ‘same old Julian,’ eh?” Garak said nothing and focused on eating. “I’m surprised _you_ don’t hate me.” Julian gave Garak a warm smile. “It’s one of the reasons I love you.”

 

Garak returned the smile but couldn’t help but shiver. He knew that Chief O’Brien and Commander Dax still loved Julian all the same even now that they knew his secret. In fact, they both had independently come to Garak and pledged to do anything they could to protect Julian. What if all Garak had to offer this beautiful creature was that he saw him for what he was and didn’t recoil? Would Julian leave him if he knew that there were plenty of others who would do the same? Garak took a sip of his usually sweet Kanar and felt that he couldn’t wash the bitter taste from his mouth.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely forgot to post yesterday! So sorry! Been doing a lot of work for classes lately, but this fic should be completed and posted in about a day! So stay tuned!
> 
> Comments and kudos if you enjoyed!


	20. A Nice Adjustment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak feels he has to tell Julian that Miles and Jadzia know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last formal chapter, but I'm about to post an epilogue as well :)

 

“Should I purr?” Julian smirked, looking up at Garak who seemed to be lost in thought.

 

“What?” Garak blinked, obviously he had just been deep in his mind.

 

“You keep petting my hair like I’m a tribble.” Julian chuckled. “I was just wondering if you wanted me to purr.” Garak looked at his own hand in surprise and stopped stroking Julian. “You don’t have to stop, it feels nice.”

 

“I hadn’t even realized I was doing it.” Garak blinked.

 

“Mm,” Julian nodded. “You seem very focused on something.” He studied Garak’s face. “Everything alright?”

 

“No, my dear.” Garak sighed before he sat up. “I fear I’ve taken advantage of you.”

 

“I should hope so.” Julian replied happily before sitting up as well. “I’m yours for the taking.” Garak looked away with a pained expression. “Elim, what’s wrong?” He tilted his head and waited for a reply, but none came. “Elim, please…” Julian felt the worry creep up on him. With Garak there would always be secrets, but this one seemed to feel dangerous.

 

“I _love_ you, Julian.” Garak breathed, still not looking at Julian. Julian felt his heart break. He didn’t know what to expect, but this was feeling like a breakup. What was Garak going to say next? That he loved Julian but he wasn’t _in_ love with him? That was the usual line that Julian got.

 

“Elim…” Julian whispered, not really sure if he wanted a response or not. “Whatever it is, we can fix it.” Julian quickly added. Garak looked at him in confusion. “We love each other, so that’s all that should matter, right? We can solve whatever problem there is.” Julian gave a nervous smile. He knew he was begging, that he should just keep quiet and let Garak speak, but nervous talking was always something Julian was good at.

 

“Chief O’Brien and Commander Dax…” Garak inhaled deeply, obviously preparing himself for something. “They know about your augments.”

 

“You told them?” Julian blinked, feeling his blood freeze. Why would Garak tell them? What was going to happen? How long had they known?

 

“Your father gave the Chief the clues he needed to figure it out.” Garak sighed. “And Commander Dax deduced it through several of her own observations mixed with something she heard from Quark.” Julian didn’t remember getting out of bed, he just knew he was standing and staring out the window and looking out into space.

 

“So that’s it then?” Julian said, almost in wonder. It was all over. “I’m going to be taken to some prison or institution now that I finally have the life I’ve always wanted because my friends are too smart.” He scoffed. “I suppose that’s fitting. The brilliant friends and coworkers were part of the life I wanted, it only makes sense that my own dream would reject me.”

 

“Julian, you don’t understand.” Garak began, but Julian put a hand up.

 

“It’s alright, Elim.” He turned and gave a sad smile, feeling a lump in his throat. “It’s not your fault.”

 

“Julian.” Garak said firmly now as he also stood up. “You’re not listening to me.” Julian blinked, but waited silently for Garak to continue. “No one is reporting you.”

 

“Why?” Julian’s eyes widened. “What did you do to them?”

 

“Nothing, my dear, I assure you.” Garak said quickly. “The Chief asked me to help hide your secret.” He said before looking away again. “And Commander Dax asked me what she could do to help… she’s already explained the matter to Captain Sisko and he agrees that Starfleet need never know.” Julian had so much he wanted to say. Sisko knew as well? His head was spinning.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked.

 

“We were all afraid you would turn yourself in.” Garak admitted. “Afraid that you’d think you’re a burden to us.” Garak shook his head. “But I had to tell you. I know the truth and I still love you, yes, but that doesn’t make me special.” He looked back at Julian with pleading eyes. “No one loves you any less.”

 

“Are you sure?” Julian asked suspiciously. “You’re not lying to make me feel better or something?” It all seemed too impossible.

 

“Why would I discount the one reason you love me?” Garak responded. “No, this is all quite true.”

 

“The _one_ reason?” Julian repeated dumbly. “Elim, what are you talking about?” Before Garak could respond, Julian ran over to him with a smile. “Elim, I told you that you seeing me for what I am and still caring was only one of the _reasons_ I love you.” He shook his head. “Please don’t tell me you thought it was the one thing that made you attractive to me.” Garak said nothing and Julian embraced him with a laugh. “You’re an absolute fool.”

 

“I see…” There was silence as Garak cautiously allowed his arms to wrap around Julian’s back.

 

“Do the others really know?” Julian asked quietly. Garak simply nodded. “But nothing’s going to change?” Another nod and the silence returned.

 

“Are you alright?” Garak whispered after a minute or so of Julian saying nothing.

 

“I think so.” Julian pulled back and looked into Garak’s eyes. “It all just seems… strange.”

 

“It was not my intention to let your secret get out.” Garak assured.

 

“No, I know.” Julian nodded. “It’s just never gotten out before.” He chuckled. “I was just getting used to _you_ knowing.” He furrowed his brow. “But really, I get to stay in Starfleet?”

 

“Your friends have ensured it.” Garak smiled.

 

“They don’t…” He paused and looked away nervously, “hate me?”

 

“They _love_ you, my dear.” Garak brought his hand to Julian’s cheek. “They certainly don’t hate you.”

 

“This is surreal.” Julian smiled. “I’m just having trouble believing it all.”

 

“You won’t turn yourself in?” Garak asked nervously. Julian looked at him in surprise.

 

“I suppose not.” Julian was surprised himself. “I always figured that if anyone learned the truth, my options would be to run or hand myself over.” He shook his head. “I never thought I would be forgiven.”

 

“I doubt it will be talked about openly.” Garak pointed out. “I wouldn’t begin sharing this information with any new elements, like Commander Worf for example.”

 

“Right, of course.” Julian nodded. “Don’t worry, keeping this a secret is the easy part. It’s the having others know that I’ll have to adjust to.” He then grinned. “Though it’s a nice adjustment.”

 

“I’m glad you’re pleased.” Garak smiled. He was clearly just relieved that Julian was still with him.

 

“Elim…” Julian began, his face brightening more than it had in days. “We should throw a party!”

 

“A party?” Garak asked dubiously.

 

“Nothing extravagant.” Julian said, waving a hand. “Just Dax, Sisko, and Miles. Everyone who knows. Sort of like a thank you.”

 

“I wouldn’t invite the captain.” Garak shook his head. “He can ignore the matter as long as it’s not constantly thrown in his face.” Julian nodded.

 

“Alright, then just Dax and Miles!” He was nearly bouncing with excitement. “Just the four of us and we’ll have a few drinks and just feel comfortable finally!” Julian had never felt completely comfortable with his friends. Happy, content, even thrilled, but never truly comfortable. He always felt like he had to watch himself and judge his actions.

 

“There’s nothing I can say to dissuade you, is there?” Garak sighed. “Well, in that case, let me know when and where and I’ll bring the Kanar.” Julian met Garak’s words with an enthusiastic kiss.

 


	21. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A party with friends.

 

The alcohol seemed to never stop flowing the entire night and even Garak was beginning to slur his speech and laugh dumbly. The unlikely four: the Trill who’d lived hundreds of years and several lifetimes, the proud Irish family man, the exiled Cardassian, and the genetically enhanced doctor, were all attempting to sing a Bajoran spiritual tune that was often performed at the shrine. Of course, absolutely none of them really knew the words, so it was a complete mess, but the laughter was done perfectly. Julian’s posture was disgraceful as he was practically lying down in Garak’s lap, but still attempting to keep his head up. He’d never felt so happy and safe in his life.

 

“We should call Nerys, ask her the words.” Jadzia nodded to herself like it was a brilliant idea.

 

“She will kill us.” O’Brien shook his head. “She’s been in bed for the past three hours.”

 

“You know her bedtime, Chief?” Garak chuckled.

 

“I _lived_ with her!” Miles seemed to have to explain that often. “Like _you_ can talk! You know all sorts of things about people while hardly having spoken to them.” The Chief grumbled into his glass. Julian laughed out loud.

 

“He’s got you there, Elim.” Julian said, leaning his head back and looking up at Garak fondly. “You’re just a snoop.”

 

“That means he has no excuses.” Jadzia grinned. “He has to know when your birthday is and be aware of your favorite candies and everything else.” She held up a finger. “But no telling him, if he’s really as good of a spy as he leads us to believe, he should already have it all figured out.”

 

“I never told him my birthday but he still gave me that damned Shoggoth!” Julian scoffed. “Please no more Enigma Tales next time.” He said, looking at Garak again.

 

“You still haven’t played through that program.” Garak criticized. “You _might_ enjoy it.”

 

“Garak has to join one of our programs now!” Miles shouted suddenly. “Nothing with spies though, something that will really take him out of his comfort zone.”

 

“The Alamo?” Julian asked before getting a mischievous grin. “No, the Battle of Britain. I want to see him as a flyboy.”

 

“ _Why_ do I have to do this?”

 

“It’s a rite of passage!” O’Brien was growing more adamant. “No one can date Julian without passing this test.”

 

“I’m quite sure that’s never been a rule before.” Garak challenged.

 

“How would you know?” O’Brien countered.

 

“It would have been revealed in my ‘snooping’.” Garak smirked. The room laughed despite the joke not being all that funny. It was the alcohol talking and they all knew it, but no one cared. Julian couldn’t make himself care about much of anything. He was lying on the man he loved with two of his dearest friends. All of them knew who he was, knew _what_ he was, and somehow they all stayed. Julian didn’t feel like a freak for the first time in his life, he wondered if this was what Jules felt like. Whole, real, and perfectly natural. He let that thought pass him by and he just continued to laugh because, the truth was, neither Julian nor Jules could possibly be unhappy in this moment.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, for reading this surprisingly long series! Whoo! We made it to the happy ending!
> 
> So, as always, shoutout to my beautiful beta: NoOneKnowsIWriteThis who is also an incredible author and you should check out her great works. She is a brilliant writer and an absolute joy to work with. Also, just the greatest person in the universe, and my best friend. Love you with all my heart! 
> 
> Also! I made a tumblr! Yay! It's really just for being more interactive with all of y'all and hopefully getting some prompts and things. I'll probably post some other little writings there and whatnot, but mostly I'm going to share DS9 stuff and talk about my fics I guess??? Follow me???? https://ameerawritesstuff.tumblr.com/ 
> 
> Thanks for reading this whole series! You guys are amazing! :D


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